Ray Frensham World

Broken Britain - 12: Two tales that expose why Britain will forever remain Stuffed….

2011-04-04T15:50:00.000-07:00

I wondered how long it would take to get back to ranting and raging. Two recent stories that explain exactly why this (once-great) country will forever remain in the Doldrums: Attitude.

Part 1: Today (Monday 4th April 2011) our mailing prices increased, by a considerable degree actually - but that’s not what I am raging about. This morning I wanted to send some things to a friend of mine in the USA, air mail / small packet. And so I queued at my local Post office (for over twenty minutes, but that’s normal now) with my package. The lady behind the grill weighed it and quoted me £18.44.

I thought this was somewhat outrageous and she explained to me the reason it was so high was because it was “over the one kilo threshold” (whatever that was). She also made it clear to me that it might work out cheaper if I sent the items in two packages.

So I went away and re-boxed up the things in two packages and returned later to the same Post Office (with a 30+ minute wait this time) and the very same counter clerk weighed both and charged me £6.48 for each. That’s a total £12.96 (and a saving of £5.48).

If the Royal Mail were an independently-run business they would have gone to the wall pronto with that attitude. How do they get away with it!? [Because they can].

No wonder the Royal Mail is regularly holding its hand out to successive Governments for hand-outs to stave off bankruptcy (financially and in “customer-services”).

Part 2: This story happened just a few days ago.

I wanted to book a short trip away to Amsterdam and decided the best route was with what’s called the “Dutch Flyer” (a train/boat/train package from Stenna Lines that works out about £37 each way).

So I phoned up Stenna to discuss matters. “You can book over the phone if you like”, she informed me…”but we need two days notice”…… “or”, she continued, “you could always book online!…. But we would need five days notice for that one”.

I asked her: “Well, seeing as the journey starts at Liverpool Street Station” (local for me in the East End of London)…”could I not just turn up at the station and book my tickets there and then?”.

There was a silence at the end of the phone. Maybe I should’ve sensed this was going to go all pear-shaped. “Well…..”, she said…..“We’ve had this all before.....Technically, you should be able to get your tickets from them, yes. But, you see, it all depends on the mood of the people in theTicket Office that morning. If they don't feel like selling you the tickets, they won’t do”.

I then asked “what if I turned up at Ilford Station and bought the ticket there?” [After all, Ilford is just down the road from where I live and the train runs from Liverpool Street and stops at Ilford en route to the coast].

“I’m afraid the same thing applies”, the Stenna woman said, “It really does depend on what side of the bed they got out of that morning”.

At which point I said: “D’you know something? It would be easier for me to just turn up at Victoria Coach Station with my suitcases and get on the coach on the day. It would probably be cheaper too”. [I later checked, and it was cheaper: £66 return].

Is it any wonder that, with attitudes like these, this country is never going to pull its socks up and get out of the crud we are in. And thus I return to my past mantra: Nobody actually Cares anymore in this country - about anyone or anything”. This country is Fucked.

Another Cartoon featuring Me???

2011-02-15T03:46:00.000-08:00

I have mentioned before that certain friends of mine have included me in their splendid cartoons (see:

http://rayfrenshamworld.blogspot.com/2009/07/and-now-im-featrued-in-cartoon-strip.html and

http://rayfrenshamworld.blogspot.com/2011/01/and-now-i-am-appearing-in-photo-story.html

This week (on the occasion of Valentine’s Day, perhaps?) some chums drew my attention to another cartoon, dating back to 2008 which seemed to feature me by default!). It’s entitled: “In Which Jake Does His Best”.
[Again, click on the picture and it will open out to full size]. Enjoy:-

Did it predate me or I inspire them? - who knows, who cares. I enjoyed it.

It can also be found at: http://wondermark.com/380/

Henry de Winter + BHS: an update

2011-01-31T13:14:00.000-08:00

Just a short note to inform everyone that I have just updated my main blog regarding the legendary Sir Henry de Winter:
http://rayfrenshamworld.blogspot.com/2010/09/henry-de-winter-at-last-his-website.html

New links (including one to FaceBook) + a couple of extra photographs.

The latest news is that Henry has just returned from Bratislava where, after a few days rehearsal with the Bratislava Hot Serenaders, did a couple of performances (the latter being filmed) and then went into the studio for a few days of recordings. That is all I know. But here, at least is a photograph from that weekend:-

Cufflinks anyone?

2011-01-18T17:16:00.000-08:00

OK, I admit it, it was love at first sight. From the moment my eyes came across this on e-bay recently, I have been going back to that page just to drool over it.

It’s billed as: CLASSIC SOLID OAK 30 x 4 TRAY CELL CUFFLINKS BOX - Made2Order

And the Cost? (gulp)…

[[Usual protocol: click on the pics to open out to its full version]]

£165 + £10 Courier delivery. Custom-made, they said it would take about eight weeks from order to delivery.

For what it’s worth, here is the (current) link:

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=370475459158#ht_2648wt_905

and their website:
http://www.aandtcrafts.co.uk/

Perhaps it’s because my father was a carpenter & joiner I’ve learned to really appreciate well-made and skilled woodwork and craftsmanship. But then maybe that’s just an excuse because…there it was - and that yearning ache in the pit my stomach was clearly there and just grew over the weeks.

Eventually, today, I succumbed. and contacted the maker to make my order - And, surprise surprise, they said “just pay a £10 deposit and pay the balance nearer delivery date”. How could I resist?

Here’s a few more details of the spec:

Made from solid oak (Thickness of the wood will depend on what we have in stock and how much we have to plane it . But typically 15-20mm for the box, approx 10+mm for the lid and approx 8-10mm for the dividers)

Box dimensions

- Trays: 30 cells, 6 across and 5 deep (each cell is 35 x 35 and 30mm deep)

- Tray internal dimensions 260mm x 280mm x 30mm deep

- Tray external dimensions 280mm x 235mm x 40mm deep

- Overall box internal dimensions 280 x 235 x 165mm - approx

- External dimensions 310-315mm long and 265-270mm wide and 190-195mm deep

- Box is rounded at all outside corners and outside edges & corners.

- Trays are square edged and removable

- Matrix are square edged and fixed for ease of lifting out the trays….

The first question my friends asked me when I showed them what I was thinking of buying, was: “but do you have enough cufflinks to fill the thing?” [A total of 120 slots for you mathematicians out there]. Well, it’s fess-up time, I’ve been collecting antique cufflinks and accessories for about three decades now and somehow I think I might just have enough to fill the trays. Dammit, alright, I’ll come clean, I’ve probably got more than enough to fill the bloody box.

And I do feel that this is the kind of item that can only increase in value over the years (well that’s what I’ve convinced myself anyway).

But I don’t care. I shall just smugly sit here and wait for delivery of this little (er…big) beauty in about early April. Call it a belated Christmas present to self (or an early Birthday present - it’s March 2nd, in case anyone wanted to know!).

And now I am appearing in a Photo-Story…

2011-01-16T08:04:00.000-08:00

A chum of mine on Facebook asked me if he cold use some of my photos and insert me into one of his historical slide-show stories. I agreed (after all, this is not the first time I have been depicted in some fictional storyline: see my visage being portrayed as Jack the Ripper here: http://rayfrenshamworld.blogspot.com/2009/07/and-now-im-featrued-in-cartoon-strip.html ).

So here goes. I present to you …

Facing the Past: 1932 by Professor William Boxington

Professor Boxington must finally face a mistake from his past and correct it before moving on into the future...

The telephone rang early one morning at the home of Professor and Mrs. Boxington in Arkham, Massachusetts.

William Boxington, professor of esoteric folklore at Miskatonic University, was surprised by the source of the call.

Mr. Ray Frensham, head Regent of Miskatonic University and Master of the Esoteric Order of Dagon, was calling to offer William the position of dean of the University! There had been so many mishaps and deaths in Arkham lately that the pool of candidates was quite small. Boxington ignored the insult and accepted the job.

Regent Frensham was rudely interrupted during the installment ceremony for Professor Boxington's elevation to dean of the school... It seemed that a particular dinosaur, from Professor Boxington's 1925 expedition to South East Asia, had not perished in the wilds after all!

The Regent and fellow members of Miskatonic's educational board all dived for cover when the beast let loose with a mighty roar.

Fortunately the Boxingtons never left home without being fully prepared. Too many adventures had taught them that harsh lesson! Mrs. Boxington quickly tossed her husband a rifle from her front row seat.

Professor Boxington caught the rifle and he chased the beast down the main street of Arkham, away from the University. Frightened by the automobiles, the monster realized it was time to fight or die. It turned to attack William. The creature was no match for the gun and was laid low. William felt bad for the beast but there had been no other alternative.

The following month, after the dinosaur had been carefully dissected and scientifically studied, Regent Frensham said with a little exasperation, "Well, William, as a professor or as the dean of the university, I can see you will always be in the thick of it! But please, really now, can we tone the adventures down for your new position? We would not want Miskatonic to get a bad name, after all!"

The Boxingtons, very pleased with events, moved into their new residence on the grounds of the University. Being dean of the school was defiantly going to have its advantages! Despite Regent Frensham's wishes, they knew that their adventures would certainly continue.

Shoelaces anyone???

2011-01-13T15:59:00.000-08:00

I came across a rather bizarre website that is clearly a labour of love……

You know how some people get really obsessive about things like How Many Ways to Tie a Tie?

Well, this site just Has to be one of the most anally retentive ever: Ian’s Shoelace Site

The thing is, once you start reading it, and the more you get into it, it becomes curiously addictive.

Just go to it explore and indulge (for starters) in the 33 different ways to tie a shoelace. Revel in the Sawtooth, the Bow Tie (illustrated above), the Twisty, the Double Helix or the Hexagram.

http://www.fieggen.com/shoelace/lacingmethods.htm

Oh, and I’d better warn you, the list is growing regularly. Bravo Ian - whoever you are, wherever you are - your site has educated and informed and made me smile and be baffled in equal measures.

The Blog is BACK! - (and now I’m a Guest Blogger too)

2011-01-12T15:56:00.000-08:00

It seems quite frightening to realise that I haven’t posted up a blog here for three months.

What happened?….. A combination of things:-

- To be honest, most of the time I’ve simply been out there in the real world just living a life (it’s not bad out there, apart from the bloody weather), and besides I got a bit lazy!…

- media-wise it all got a bit frantic: after decades away from it, I sort-of fell back into doing bits of background artiste / extras work in tv and films…first on Midsomer Murders (the episode Noble Art that went out in October 2010), then on Pirates Of The Caribbean (4): On Stranger Tides (yes, I did do a few days with Mr. Depp) and then, without a pause for breath, straight onto the latest Martin Scorsese movie The Invention Of Hugo Cabret working alongside Ben Kingsley (you’ll just have to wait ‘n’ see how much). I shall inevitably be blogging about these exploits in due course…

- I must admit I also got a bit ticked off with Blogspot changing a little their settings for posting up blogs - nothing major, just annoying little things that really piss you off and you have to pointlessly re-learn things all over again. [It’s a disease that notably afflicts sites like Facebook and MySpace: changing formats just for the sake of change; I guess these people do it to attempt to justify their exorbitant salaries. Hey Buddy, listen up, try this one: if it Ain’t Broke, DON’T Fix it!]

- and now (January 2011) Hodders, my publishers, want me to update and expand (considerably) my book Teach Yourself Screenwriting for a new edition due out in July/August, and to be retitled Break Into Screenwriting (a Teach Yourself book)…I mean, it's been a best-seller for fifteen years, just why they've decided to change things...what was that I said about ‘if it ain’t broke….’ ?

…So what made me apply the seat of my pants to the seat of the blogging chair again? Well, a few days ago my pals Matt and Enrique at www.FineandDandyShop.com asked me to contribute a guest blog to their site.

They had noticed that UK GQ had done a “50 Best Dressed Men in Britain”.

http://www.gq-magazine.co.uk/style/articles/2011-01/03/gq-style-news-best-dressed-men-in-britain/2010-2011

And asked me to come up with my own list of Stylish Men.
I took a look at the GQ list and realised:
- a third of them I had never heard of,
- a third were somewhat scruffy buggers (to say the least),
- and only the remaining third were what you might call borderline acceptable.

I didn’t feel exactly stretched to come up with a riposte. So I just went to the local coffee shop, sat down for a bit and just created a list of chaps I know / admire / fancy who are on the cusp of ‘breaking bigger’ into the public eye whom I regarded rather stylish and classy.

And these are the ones that came into my mind, pretty much in the order they arrived:

http://fineanddandyshop.blogspot.com/2011/01/dandys-list-of-15-most-dapper-men.html

I hope you liked them (and my reasons for choosing them). If you disagree with the names, tuff - I like annoying people.

[Naturally, since publishing this list, I’ve thought of plenty of faces I have overlooked. Maybe next year]. The good news is that FineandDandyShop have asked me to be a regular guest blogger…in which case, I guess I had better get my s**t together…I have a few ideas. (Naturally, I will cross-post and cross-reference).

- And I guess I had better start blogging here again. Hold onto your hats…and bow ties!

…Oh, and I shaved my moustache off yesterday……

T.O.B.I. - Tired Of Being Ignored

2010-09-26T16:57:00.000-07:00

I’ve had a few bits of correspondence since I posted up my last blog (yesterday). One of them (Paul) suggested I change the name of this blog to RAY FRENCHES 'EM’

And then listening to a radio broadcast this evening about the Tea Party grassroots political movement in the USA, it occurred to me someone should start up a similar people-power activist group in the UK (although not along the political parameters of the Tea Party)….

And remembering one of my favourite all-time movies Network and its mantra: “I’m Mad as Hell and I’m Not going to Take it anymore!”…

… the name came to me:

T.O.B.I. - Tired Of Being Ignored……

Let me think about it over the next few days…

Selling on Amazon? FORGET IT! - another Rant

2010-09-26T10:26:00.000-07:00

OK, I’ve been holding this one back a couple of weeks, letting it brood and fester.
And seeing as I shall probably be filming in the coming weeks, I thought it best be posted now.

Isn’t it always the way, like London buses, you wait for one for ages and then three come along together?
I’m starting to get the same feeling about life, and the cock-up principle. First there was BT (see my blog of 22nd August inst. http://rayfrenshamworld.blogspot.com/2010/08/bt-part-4-yet-another-broadband-rant.html) - and that is still unresolved…I’m still waiting for your phone call, Mr. Das…

And now it’s amazon.co.uk - something that started a couple of months ago and then started to spiral out of control and travel to another planet. Here’s my latest communication to Amazon, I think it sets out ‘the story so far’!:-

Let’s go back to the beginning, shall we?:
3rd June, 2010: I decided to sell a few items on amazon.co.uk. I was led to your complex web of buttons and ended up setting up a Merchant Seller account. However, having the listed the few titles I had for sale, I immediately realised your company were going to charge me about £25 per month for the privilege.

I immediately sent a request (3rd June) to close down my selling account / capacity. But your site is so complex and confusing (rather like the structure of your company, I have come to realise) it took you about five days to respond.

8th June, 2010: I receive a communication from Michael Janowicz ( mjanowi@amazon.com ) telling me he will look into my case.

22nd June, 2010: Case No. 9126312 is created.
You also inform me that I have sold an item (for £25 - £2.75 charges) and that I have yet to transfer this money to any of my accounts.

Amazon then make a couple of attempts to extract money from my account - all rejected.

24th July, 2010: Consequently, I discover that my selling account is still open, Against my expressed wishes.

3rd August, 2020: Eventually (!) I am sent an email by Amazon Services Europe that my Pro Merchant account subscription (sic) is cancelled.

18th August, 2010: I receive an e-mail from one Narsing K of Amazon.co.uk Seller Support [quoting Case No. 10111292 - a new number] informing me “I have checked and confirmed that your account has been closed”. I thought that was the end of it.

How wrong I was. (This is, after all, amazon - and it is very evident to me by now that your departments are not co-ordinating or even communicating with each other). Because….

31st August, 2010 (5pm GMT): I receive an e-mail from amazon telling me your company had taken out of my bank account an unspecified sum…(characteristically helpful, amazon) [I later discover, from my Bank, the sum is £11.83] - Unauthorised by me.

When I attempt to raise a query with you, you respond (31st Aug) by telling me that the Ray Frensham selling account was Open (you had already assured me it was closed) and informing me you were Unable to cancel my Merchant Account.

…There was a trace of a silver lining, of course: you invited me (sic) to…(here we go again)…open up a new case! [N.B.: Trouble was, the link they sent me was Not one where I could open up a new case but to a place where I could edit my credit card details].

Well this is it.

I want ALL (and any) selling account/s in my name cancelled immediately; I want an explanation as to what the heck is going on; I want action; I want it done NOW; I want my money/ies refunded into my bank account. A.S.A.P.

But it still doesn’t end there:-

1st September, 2010 (7.13.pm GMT): I receive yet another e-mail from your company (this time from “Joannne” at amazon.co.uk Seller Support), with yet Another new case number [No. 10356622] - the third one to date - assuring me “this matter is being investigated”.

To be honest: I don’t believe you anymore. I don’t think that one part of amazon knows what any other part is doing. What a mess.

The word “compensation” is starting to creep into my vocabulary: not just the amount/s of money you have already taken from my bank account unauthorised, but for the precious time I have wasted in dealing with this matter (repeatedly) and for the stress caused thereby - which is still on-going.

[[For what it’s worth, I am now in discussions with my own publishers (Hodder & Stoughton/Hodder Headline and McGraw-Hill) to have my book titles withdrawn from your distribution database - worldwide (including foreign translations).

You have clearly demonstrated to me that amazon cannot reliably handle customers’ accounts I am starting to wonder whether the sales figures you return to my publishers are accurate in the first place. Please do not force me to send in the Accountants to examine your books.]]

…and don’t even flatter yourselves into thinking I will use amazon again to buy stuff. [I think this story is good enough to post up on my blog].

- And that was where my (new) complaint letter ended. But that didn’t stop Amazon, oh no. Because three days later…

4th September: I received another e-mail from Narsing K of Seller Support (.co.uk) [Ref. Case No.: 10111292 - remember that one?]: “I can now confirm that your account has been closed”. [Although he didn’t specify it, I presume he meant a Seller’s account…which one?]. He added: “The £-11.83 (sic) was the pro merchant subscription fee charged on a pro rated basis [don’t they mean pro rata?] for your account upgrade in June. Warmest regards…”

Warmest Regards? Warmest Nothing! The question remains: why did Amazon charge me £11.83 - without my authorisation and without even informing me until after the event - for an account that should not have been open in June anyway, had Amazon actually listened to their customer and done their job properly?

The case continues…

Postscript:
Oh, and for the casual reader, angry at the way Amazon has treated them, I recommend the following websites / information:

Amazon.co.uk’s well-hidden Customer Service phone number
0800 496 1081

You can also try this number 0207 084 7911 (listed as for ‘International Customers’) The 0800 number is working as of January 10th 2010

[[Where did I get this info? http://www.saynoto0870.com/ . Why did I have to go there? Because it’s deliberately buried on the Amazon website so you can’t find it]].

You can also try:-
http://www.edifyingspectacle.org/usedbookdealer/archives/online_bookselling/i_hate_amazoncom.php

…and if you are in the USA:
http://gethuman.com/Amazon_com-customer-service_44.html
Another Very Useful link:

http://ceoemails.com/
This gives you the personal e-mails of the CEOs and Managing Directors of many major companies. Bombard them with complaints direct and see if you get anywhere. (I was recommended this site by someone in Government, so it should be effective, if a rather hush-hush site).

I shall regularly update this posting and see where it takes is. Are you reading this Amazon.co.uk??? …and if you are, do you CARE?

Filming in London with Off-Beat London site

2010-09-23T16:55:00.000-07:00

Another look back to earlier this year (10th April, to be precise) and a day spent filming in London with Murielle Gonzalez Oisel for a new website called OffBeat London: ( http://www.offbeatlondon.co.uk/ ), specifically:-
http://www.offbeatlondon.co.uk/Issue03/quirks/eccentrics.html

She later posted up the video on Vimeo:
http://vimeo.com/11324381
…and on YouTube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2E3Ihl7oo8A
[or just put into YouTube’s search box: Ray Frensham Living Victorian].
- it’s only 2’ 16” long so it won’t tax your brain too much and people seem to like it - Ah! my wonderful adoring public…I love you all!.

Basically, we spent a very nice sunny Spring Saturday afternoon together, being interviewed at an outside coffee shop in Jermyn Street and then a stroll through Green Park - from Piccadilly to Buckingham Palace - chatting and filming and snapping away as we went. Listening to the film she made, my voice was terribly gruff and gravely that day - maybe it was the effect of the traffic exhaust fumes from Jermyn Street.

I lost count of the number of times we were stopped by tourists and asked for a photo (see the results below) - you can tell it was sunny, I seem to have with a permanent squint that day.

When I look back on that time of the year, it was a busy time. The sun had started to peek through after a long, hard and cruel winter, it was only a few days after I’d done the film with Russian TV (see this blog: http://rayfrenshamworld.blogspot.com/2010/04/filming-with-russian-tv_06.html
or http://www.ntv.ru/novosti/189725/ )
and just a day after Ian Flitman and I had filmed my section for The People, his interactive video installation (see this blog: http://rayfrenshamworld.blogspot.com/2009/08/and-now-i-am-become-art-installation.html
or http://www.blipstation.com/thepeople/webversion/release/ThePeople.html )

The Art of Acting British

2010-09-15T05:55:00.000-07:00

A few days ago I came across a recent piece by my chum and fellow dandy Winston Chesterfield. He made such pertinent points and so elegantly expressed I felt compelled to simply re-post as is (which I do with his permission).

He was also photographed by Stephanie Rushton, (http://www.stephanierushton.com/ ), below - whose portraits I recently posted up in three parts - for her English Eccentrics project:

The Art Of Acting British (September 12, 2010)

“On the 4th September Jermyn Street, London’s shoe-and-shirt mecca, was closed to traffic. However, this was no ordinary inconvenience. The entire street had been taken over for the celebration of a particular Art; the Art of Being British. Many of the street’s retailers had set up stalls exhibiting their trade, trumpeting British values of quality….

“…It was a confection as British as an imagination would dare and, acknowledging the special occasion, some of the crowd had taken the opportunity to exhibit their Art of being British. I say ‘being British’, when in fact I mean ‘acting British’; most of the fantastically, elegantly and colourfully dressed gentlemen there were not British at all yet they chose to mark the day in particularly British ensembles; tweed suits, fedoras, bow ties and even bowler hats. I heard Italian, American, Spanish and French visitors enjoying their promenade on this special day, attired in beautiful British classics. My fellow countrymen were largely anonymous.

“You see, the trouble with the British is most of them are trying to be something else. They want to be Italian, or American or French. They’re either not comfortable with their nationality, or they secretly believe the grass is greener. Admittedly, the effect can be repeated elsewhere – Milan is full of men who see British tailoring as the pinnacle of elegance. But despite all the apparent British nationalism, our connection with Britishness, all the stuff that Jermyn Street was celebrating – that oaky, tweedy, burnished state of being - has become a museum in itself. Our citizens wander around in this world with a passive unconcern that suggests it no longer exists. Whereas those looking in on Britain see such things as worthy of protection and celebration, the curious Brits who peer in through the windows seemed to have lost all association with that world.”

- Food for thought indeed. Winston’s own blog can be found at:
http://venividivrai.blogspot.com/

Henry de Winter - At Last: his Website !!!

2010-09-04T16:14:00.000-07:00

Since I discovered this man and his music a couple of years ago I have written regularly about Henry de Winter:-

http://rayfrenshamworld.blogspot.com/2009/03/bratislava-hot-serenaders.html ,

http://rayfrenshamworld.blogspot.com/2009/07/bratislava-hot-serenaders-henry-de.html
and
http://rayfrenshamworld.blogspot.com/2009/04/so-who-is-henry-de-winter-quest.html

But there was such scant information about him, I felt helpless when responding to all the enquiries I received from my friends (not just in Europe but from America, where HdeW is now gaining a growing fan base, mostly thanks to his two YouTube recordings with the Bratislava Hot Serenaders - links above). [Again, click on the pics to get larger versions, then click again on That pic to get the full sized versions].

I knew he had released 3 CDs (see my previous blogs for photos), all of them very difficult to obtain and a trifle expensive [I am still looking for Volume 1 myself], as were the postage costs from Germany via amazon.de . Sometimes the odd item might appear on ebay.de, as I recently bought this card (below) dated December 1997, but these were very rare occasions. And hard information was still proving elusive.

He did have a website presence, but that had been dormant for years (possibly unactivated). All it showed was a photo of Henry gardening with his dog Bobby - Peter, his original dog, and the one who appears in the YouTube videos and on the cover of his 2nd CD - having passed some years ago.

…even when gardening, he still looks immaculate!

Things started to change earlier this year (2010) when my chum Imants, who runs the Eccentric Club (http://www.eccentricclub.co.uk/ ), gave me his home address. In typical fashion, Henry has an e-mail address but is not online himself. [They have a term for “these people” now: Digital Refuseniks… and their numbers are growing!].

And so began our mutual efforts to bring this Legend to the UK. We had to start with the complex negotiations with Pet Passports and forms for Bobby (Henry goes everywhere with his canine companion, you may have realised by now). Unfortunately, at the very last moment, illness intervened and any planned gig had to be postponed.

HOWEVER, now - At Last!, Henry’s Official Website has been launched and here it is:-
http://henry-de-winter.de/

It’s in German (for the present), so here’s a link to Google Translator, which may help you:-
http://translate.google.com/#deen
[[Henry has since been in touch, to tell me that an English version is being worked on]].

Sir Henry and the BHS are also now on FaceBook:-
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Henry-De-Winter/194716343888147

and
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Bratislava-Hot-Serenaders/58985520945
…and their FanClub page:
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=53174855459

- And even on MySpace:-
http://www.myspace.com/henry-de-winter

http://www.myspace.com/bratislavahotserenaders

…and here’s the official website for the Bratislava Hot Serenaders (in English):-
http://www.serenaders.sk/?lang=en

Here are four pictures from Henry’s website, to give you an idea of the quality...

Also posted up on the site are his two YouTube recordings with the BHS + details of his CDs. There are lots of photos in the Medien section (no, you can’t ‘grab’ them, but you can on the FaceBook page), including a particularly splendid shot of Henry and the BHS on the Orient Express.

I am now in contact with his [new?] agent (Diana Enders) and have asked whether we can buy his CDs direct from the site (it’s not specified).

Over the recent months I have been sent a selection of random photos of Herr de Winter from various sources, which follow. Firstly, a couple of shots of Henry and the BHS on their 2002 debut in the Netherlands … and of the Morning After (Henry still impossibly immaculate! - how does he do it?):-

The Trocadero Ball in Wuppertal, Germany, 2003:

Dancing at Berlin’s Club Sauvage in 2007:

A candid photo at the Berliner Kunsthall (November 2009):

A shot from an Art Gallery, unknown date, but probably 2009/2010:

Two shots with a German Vogue magazine link (from 2010?): a shot from the magazine itself and one taken a few months later at that issue’s launch party:

And perhaps the two most recent photos of the man (?): one taken a few months ago, with Bobby again, when he played a Benefit for a young Leukaemia patient named Lisa:

And one taken on 29th August, 2010, out for a pleasant Stroll in Berlin [look at the faces on the people passing-by…hilarious! They just don’t ‘get’ it]

So, the website is active. Henry is active and performing: he’s currently working on a new show (which will be touring 2010 and 2011) and a new album of recordings is promised. His next immediate live show is part of the Berlin Story Salon (which, it seems, is also a TV series) on October 6th. Here’s the link + details:-
http://www.berlinstory.de/salon/programm-salon/henry-de-winter.html

I will finish this blog entry with what, I think, is my favourite shot of Henry (and just look at those trousers: Double-braided seams!!…fantastic). It epitomises everything about the man and his music...

[[ For those interested in this type of music, Henry is at the forefront of a whole new wave of German performers (mostly based in Berlin) like the Trio Ohrenschmalz, Daniel Malheur, Max Raabe & his Palast Orchester, Robert Kreis etc. (I shall no doubt get round to covering them at some point) - but I discovered Henry de Winter first and in This household, the man is a Legend!]]

From Berlin… to the World!

Stephanie Rushton photo shoot - Part 3 (of 3)

2010-09-02T08:10:00.000-07:00

Back to last August 25th and the final selection from the photo shoot I did with Stephanie Rushton at Valentines Mansion, just down the road at Gants Hill.

We left out intrepid explorers out in the gardens of the Mansion, happily snapping away, when suddenly it started to get overcast (and, latterly, with “a few spits and spots of rain“, as the BBC Weathermen are wont to say).

So we moved inside of the Mansion itself. The full history of the mansion and it’s restoration can be found by following the links in Part 1 of this trilogy of postings.

With so many rooms and wings and extensions to the building the photographs were done all over the place. The fireplace /with the birds wallpaper was on the ground floor, as was the room with the chair and the plain green painted walls. The fireplace with the flowers wallpaper was upstairs.

The curators did ask us kindly Not to touch or sit on the furniture - not because they were over-precious about things, but because all the pieces were on loan from the V&A (Victoria and Albert Museum, London) and naturally subject to all manner of Insurance Policy restrictions.

Still we managed to have a little bit of fun upstairs courtesy of Steph’s “post-production”, as you can see.

As we were getting towards the end of the day’s shoot, the weather started brightening up again outside - so we decided to venture out for a few last shots.

And that was it really. Stephanie and I went off for a coffee in the gardens whole the sun still shone. Later she sent me the results (it’s hard Not to be pleased with this collection of photographs).

A few months after these were done, Stephanie is well under-way with her book / exhibition / project English Eccentrics, and is even in discussion with Getty Images, who are interested in adding some of her work to their photo library (if that comes off, we all stand to get a nice little earner from this splendid day).

http://www.stephanierushton.com/eccentrics.html

To repeat, you can find the whole photo-shoot on this ’secret’ link!:
http://gallery.me.com/stephrushton/100522

BT - Part 4: Yet ANOTHER Broadband Rant!

2010-08-22T13:06:00.000-07:00

Here we go again! It all started on Wednesday night (18th) when my local area experienced a power surge. While some parts of the district lost their entire power for an hour we only noticed a momentary flicker of lights for seconds.

19th August: Next day (Thursday) I was out most of the day at a Wardrobe Fitting (for a film part - I shall write about this in due course). When I returned home about 4pm my broadband was dead.

I tried all the diagnostics suggested by BT on-screen, none of which worked, and ended up on the notice that read “Phone BT engineer on these numbers:
0800 800151
0800 1114567
0800 1690199 "

…and so I did…and waited…and waited…only to reach the recorded message “things are rather busy at the moment, please try later”.

Two hours later, after repeated attempts, I finally got through to speak to someone…at a BT Call Centre…in India (as usual!)….here we go again.

After thirty minutes of fruitless chat and suggestions, I realised I was getting nowhere and asked to speak to the chap’s Supervisor. And I got through to him. Surprisingly, he actually gave me his Full name [they rarely do at BT]: one Mr. Rocky Chaman.

Rocky babbled on incomprehensibly for a while, until I said - as I have had cause to when dealing with BT’s Indian Call Centres - “Could. You. Please. Speak. Slowly. And. Clearly. So. That. I. May. Understand. You?”.

And so he did - or, at least, he tried.

It ended up with me giving him a five-minute lesson in English pronunciation:-

Him: blah blah…prowider…..
Me: I beg your pardon?
Him: prowider….
Me: Eh?
Him: prowider….
Me: Do you mean Provider, with a Vee?
Him: Yes.Prowider.
Me: No, repeat after me: pro-vider
Him: Prowider
Me: No, again: provider
Him: prowider
Me: again...

…and so we went on until it became clear that young Rocky Chaman was not going to speak clearly or properly.

Ah, yes, dear dear Rocky (remember, he is a Superwiser!) he did try to suggest a number of solutions to my broadband problems, while still firmly refusing my repeated requests for a visit from a BT engineer. And then he said…

“what I want you to do is go to the junction box on the wall and, with a screwdriver, unscrew the protective covering off…”

“NO!”, I yelled, “No, no!. What you are telling me is Illegal - in the UK anyway - and if a BT engineer saw that, they would say ‘someone’s been tampering with that connection, I’m not touching that’”.

So now, we have BT employees telling their customers to perform an illegal act.

It was at this point that I informed Supervisor Rocky that I wished to speak to His boss. Eventually, after much pressure and a lot of waiting, he finally put me through to Mr. Samir Das (of the BT Complaints Department). By now I had been on the phone for about an hour.

I explained the situation to Mr. Das and he sounded a little slow on the uptake until I mentioned two things:

(a) I pointed him in the direction of this blog, and to my previous rants about BT, particularly:

and (b) I mentioned to him “funnily enough, this week, I received a bill from BT for over £100. I was going to pay that off, in cash, tomorrow at my bank. You are not seeing a penny of that until this entire matter is cleared up and resolved“. [I also mentioned the word “compensation” and he did not shy away from it].

That seemed to gee-up Mr. Das a little. Finally, he said he would mark-up this case as “High Priority” and book me a visit from a BT engineer (from their Diagnostics Team, whatever that means). We both agreed that this visit take place tomorrow (Friday) between the times of 1.pm. and 6.pm - he even sent me a text confirming this information [just remember that]. This took, in all, one hour and twenty minutes to resolve. And so on to…

…Friday 20th August: Morning, 10.am., there’s a knock on the door. It’s the BT engineer. I mentioned that we had arranged a visit “between 1pm and 6pm” and he replied “you were definitely booked-in on my schedule for between 9am and 12 noon.

My heart sank, but I decided not to argue. I explained the problem and he ran various tests on my BT hub, which was still blank on the Broadband light. I also explained to him about the “now go to the junction box with a screwdriver…” nonsense and he threw his hands in the air and agreed with my assertion that a BT engineer would Never touch a junction box that had been tampered with.

It took him almost two hours of comings and goings and visits to the local “Green Box” (the junction box) at the end of the street. He’d worked out that the fault did not lay between my computer and the Green Box, but between the Green Box and the local Exchange.

By 11.55.am. He said to me “I may have to time this job out and return it to the depot”. What he meant was: each engineer is given a two-hour space in which to sort out a problem. If it can’t be fixed after two hours, the job goes back to the depot and put in a pool for another engineer to pick it up at another date.

So much for blinding efficiency, BT! (no wonder this country is f***ed). What management consultant thought that one up!?

At twelve noon he left, the broadband seemed to be working somehow (whatever he did I don’t know)….

…and then 45 minutes later, the Broadband stopped again. I pressed the Restart button on the BT Hub (my third in as many years!) and it seemed to work again. So, later that night, as arranged, Samir Das of BT Priority Care (he called it) [number 0800 3289393] phoned me back…at 7.50.pm, even though he’d promised to call me between 6pm and 7pm.

I told him that my broadband seemed to be working, albeit unreliably. He agree to phone me back tomorrow (Saturday).

Saturday, 21st August: I was filming in Brighton that day [another project]. No call from Mr. Das at the agreed time (between 11am and 12 noon), but he finally got to me at 1.50pm. I explained that things seemed to be going OK but we both agreed that he keep track of this and phone me again tomorrow.

Sunday 22nd August: Again, the agreed time (between 1-2pm) was irrelevant: Mr. Das of BT Priority Care phoned me at…11.15.am - I was in bed and barely awake (well it was a hard day’s filming yesterday). I told him to phone me later, which he did…at 2.30pm.

I explained to him that things Seemed to be working OK and he agreed to keep monitoring this on a daily basis for at least another 48 hours; he also mentioned the concept of “compensation”, which I seemed to be bringing him around to.

Ironically, barely three minutes after the end of our chat, at 2.36.pm., my broadband stopped again. So I went to the hub and pressed the Restart button and things appeared to work again……..

At 4pm, having come back from a coffee, I went online again…until 4.40.pm. When (you’ve guessed it) the broadband stopped again. And Again I pressed the Restart button on the BT hub, to get the thing working again.

Oh, Mr. Samir Das of BT Priority Care, I hope you are reading this. We have MUCH to discuss tomorrow (and that‘s even before we reach the moment of “compensation“)

Wednesday 25th August (late evening): Over 48 hours have passed and no communication whatsoever from Mr. Das since we last spoke on Sunday afternoon, and the broadband went down - twice. Oh, and the bill remains unpaid. Congratulations BT, you really sorted that one out, didn’t you?

Sartorial Questions - 4: Little Horseshoes.....

2010-08-18T03:58:00.000-07:00

I came across this clip from the Fry & Laurie series of Jeeves and Wooster and could not resist posting ut up here:-

Stephanie Rushton photo shoot - Part 2 (of 3)

2010-08-08T11:29:00.000-07:00

Returning to 25th August 2009 and the second part of the photo shoot with the excellent Stephanie Rushton. (Just click on the images and they will open out to their full glory).

Next we moved into the Rose Garden (see map in the previous posting) and a change of clothes.

I swapped the High Imperial collar for a standard Windsor wing, with a maroon self-tie cravat and a different stickpin, a somewhat new (for then) double breasted frock coat in Hunter Green (perhaps it’s a little difficult to tell) with matching grey/green striped trousers and a dark bottle green velvet waistcoat from years back. Oh, and the top hat is a Dark Green felt one.

As the session gradually progressed, the sky started to darken a little and Stephanie started to experiment with different filters, doing all manne4r of splendis things with the sky…

After a while it started to rain a little so we decided to make our way towards the Mansion itself….

These were done under the entrance to the Mansion itself……

….looking and feeling Totally at home (couldn‘t resist a touch of that Gene Kelly swagger)……

…and then inside sitting on one of the many window seats. You don’t know how comfortable and appropriate I felt in this environment….

As Stephanie and I chatted during the session we discovered we know the same fellow photographer. A chap called Ian Tilton….

Over twenty years ago I employed “Tilly” (then a fledgling photography student) to take some photos of one of the groups I had on a record label I was running, publicity and cover for shots for an album we were planning to release. He was in Manchester and the group were nearby, so it seemed logical; and he delivered a very impressed set of shots, the album ones hand-tinted in colour.

Fast forward about five years and the next time I see his name mentioned is on the first album by the Stone Roses, he took the studio shots… and then later on The Smiths album Rank and then his pic of Kurt Cobain Crying - a “legendary image”, I am informed - is on display at the Brooklyn Museum, New York. [I do pride myself on spotting fledgling talent and early on].

These photos here, of course, are just a mere selection of the shots that were taken by Stephanie Rushton.
I shall post up the third and final set next week.

My Heart Will Go On - Recorder By Candle Light by Matt Mulholland

2010-08-04T09:57:00.000-07:00

My Heart Will Go On (and on...and on...and on...)
I was sent this by a friend in Sweden (remarkable how quickly these Swedes pick things up on the interweb). I’d been looking for my modern-day equivalent of Jonathan & Darlene Edwards [wikipedia them] and I think I have found it in Matt Mulholland.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X2WH8mHJnhM

Turns out he’s from New Zealand…. Well it made me laugh anyway. Enjoy.

Try his website: I still think his recorder tutorial should be essential viewing for All school orchestras.

http://www.mattmulholland.com/ or http://www.mattmulholland.co.nz/

Stephanie Rushton photo shoot - Part 1 (of 3)

2010-08-02T14:26:00.000-07:00

Looking at the backlog of things I have not posted so far (and there is much of it) I am astonished how many of them are photographs of … me! (surprise surprise) - either specific photo shoots or at events I have attended. So, at risk of a surfeit of self, I am going to stagger them over the next few months (chronologically).

Let’s go all the way back to last August (25th) - 2009. I had been approached - probably via the Eccentric Club - by a professional photographer, Stephanie Rushton.
[ http://www.stephanierushton.com/index.html ]

We chatted for a while, she had already taken photographs of some friends of mine - the blogger and musician Winston Chesterfield and “fellow eccentric” Lyndon Yorke - and they both had good shoots with her - so I felt a comfort zone there. She said she was putting together a project “English Eccentrics” and, as I never allow people to photograph me ‘at home’, I suggested the local (and recently restored) Valentines Mansion, a Georgian pile just down the road at Gants Hill.
[ http://www.valentines.org.uk/ and http://www.valentinesmansion.com/ ], see also my previous posting on the reopening of the Mansion on February 14th 2009 [ http://rayfrenshamworld.blogspot.com/2009/02/valentines-mansion-reopens.html ]

The weather was rather splendid for most of the day (a little darkening in the sky, which you will see in the second posting of these 3) and we decided on three different “looks” [not ‘outfits’ and Definitely Not ‘costumes’!]. What follows is just a mere smattering of the first lot of photos that were taken.

I do urge you to visit Steph’s site, she is a rather splendid photographer with a fantastic ‘eye’

http://www.stephanierushton.com/eccentrics.html
As you can see, we started out in the gardens of the Mansion - the walled Old English Garden, to be precise. I have to say, we were both impressed at the splendid and authentic restoration job that had been performed on the Mansion (luckily funded and finished before the credit problems hit this country - and the Borough).

Looking at my clothes for this part of the shoot, I was wearing my single-breasted black barathea frock coat (part of a suit) but with striped trousers. The waistcoat was my (newly finished) red Chinese silk ten-button double-breasted one. Notice the buttons - black - this is the only time you will see these as the deadline for the shoot meant that my tailor (Ayres, who made this creation) did not have the time to cover the buttons in the same fabric so we went with black silk as a stop-gap! (And just wait till you see the back of this magnificent creation!).

[A slightly cropped and "adjusted" version of Stephanie's photograph, done by my pal Brad in the USA, giving me a wrap-around collar.... something which I crave and are simply impossible to find these days!]

[P.S.: This secret link leads to the full selection of the entire photo-shoot, should you care to explore:
http://gallery.me.com/stephrushton/100522 ]. I shall post up Part 2 of this three-parter next week!

For the record, Winston’s blogsite is:http://venividivrai.blogspot.com/
…and Lyndon’s website is:http://www.lyndonsmachines.co.uk/

Eccentricity - a Response by Max Davidson

2010-07-29T08:09:00.000-07:00

Further to yesterday’s rather bonkers piece in the Telegraph, today they published this:-
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/7915067/Being-a-little-odd-doesnt-mean-that-Im-mentally-ill.html

Being a little odd doesn't mean that I'm mentally ill.
[Labelling every behaviour out of the norm as a sign of mental illness is insanity].
By Max Davidson
Published: 5:46PM BST 28 Jul 2010

The bean-counters at the NHS must be tearing their hair out. If we take our cue from America, as we generally do in these matters, the number of people diagnosed with mental disorders may be about to rise exponentially, with knock-on effects for their budgets.

Even tearing your hair out, once a perfectly acceptable sign of emotional frustration, could soon be re-categorised as psychotic behaviour – innocuous in itself, but symptomatic of underlying mental health problems.

In fresh guidelines promulgated by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders – the definitive American textbook, in use all around the world – the latest buzz-phrase is "Psychosis Risk Syndrome". The clue is in the name: it is concerned not with how people behave now, but how they might behave in future.

Nobody should make light of mental illnesses, or the importance of understanding them. But if the bar for mental illness is to continually lowered, it will sound the death knell for the kind of benign eccentricity at which the British have long excelled. If someone is doing something odd but harmless – sporting an asparagus in their buttonhole, say – doctors will find it increasingly hard to leave it at that. They will ask: "Why the asparagus?" and seek abstruse explanations. Perhaps the asparagus-wearer harbours feelings of sexual inadequacy? Or perhaps he has a pathological hatred of his mother, after being forced to eat asparagus as a child?

Medical knowledge may be growing, but the world is shrinking. Once everyone has been labelled, has had a name slapped on their condition, there is no room left for the kind of people who defy labelling. Sherlock Holmes, brilliantly reinvented in a new BBC series, is no longer a maverick, but a "sociopath". Yet our history is littered with colourful oddballs, from William Archibald Spooner, the Oxford professor whose bloopers packed lecture halls ("Such Bulgarians should be vanished") to Sir George Sitwell, who invented a pistol for shooting wasps and had the cows on his estate stencilled with a blue Chinese willow pattern – and they have been remembered far more fondly than their po-faced contemporaries.

Glyndebourne opera house is now celebrated around the world, but its founder, John Christie, was so many high Cs short of an aria that he would be placed under restraint today. On one occasion, he was sitting next to the Queen during a performance, when he took out his glass eye, cleaned it, replaced it in its socket, and asked the Queen if it was in straight.

Cricket lovers all over the world treasure the memory of the late, great David Shepherd [above], the umpire who hopped from foot to foot whenever the score reached 111 or multiples thereof. Shepherd hailed from the West Country, and was a mass of old rural superstitions of the kind that psychiatry is powerless to heal. He belonged in a museum, not a hospital.

Of course, eccentrics are not to be confused with the kind of desperate attention seekers who find their way on to Big Brother. If they wear odd clothes, or have acquired odd mannerisms, it is not because they are showing off, but because they live their own lives, oblivious to what other people think of them. The best of them are holy fools, blessed with an innocence that their more conventional friends can only envy.

Sadly, I have never really hacked it as a major-league eccentric: the habits of conformity are too ingrained. But the further I drift from the mainstream – as I did at a barbecue recently, performing a full-on impression of Laurence Olivier as Richard III, hunchback and all – the happier I feel.

I certainly don't want doctors totting up my little quirks – loud ties, Wild Man of Borneo hairdos, DIY fish recipes, talking to myself in the bath – and finding a medical condition to explain them. I would rather be myself, unlabelled and untamed.

Eccentric? - Try this for size................

2010-07-29T06:01:00.000-07:00

Firstly, apologies for my silence these last few weeks (I will post some catch-ups in due course) - I was out there in real-life land enjoying the Summer and the sun and not stuck behind a computer (my only friend). I believe it is called "getting a life".

Anyway, I saw the following article in yesterday's Daily Telegraph and took great comfort in it. I reprint in full! The link is:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/7913122/Eccentrics-could-be-diagnosed-with-mental-disorders.html
Eccentrics 'could be diagnosed with mental disorders'

[Eccentrics could be labelled as having mental disorders under planned changes to diagnostic guidelines, experts have warned].

By Nick Collins
Patients may be more likely to be told they have psychological illnesses after experts proposed to modify classifications in a mental health guide used by doctors around the world, it was claimed.

The suggested new diagnoses in the manual, written by leading American doctors, and the potential lowering of the bar on other disorders "shrinks the pool of normality to a puddle", critics said.

It is feared that difficult or eccentric people may be diagnosed as mentally ill, dramatically affecting their life and job prospects, without ever developing "full blown" psychosis.

One new diagnosis put forward by the authors is "Psychosis Risk Syndrome", which identifies people thought to be at risk of developing a mental illness.

Symptoms for patients in this category may include mood changes, feelings of distress, anxiety or paranoia, or fleeting episodes of hearing voices.

Other diagnoses under consideration include "mixed anxiety depression", "binge eating," and "temper dysregulation disorder with dysphoria".

Definitions of some existing disorders, such as depression, may have the bar lowered so that more people are deemed to have symptoms that merit a diagnosis.
Professor Til Wykes, from the Institute of Psychiatry at King's College London, described a trend that was "leaking into normality".

She said: "It shrinks the pool of normality to a puddle, and there are going to be fewer people who won't end up having a diagnosis of mental illness."

The changes are due to appear in the fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) – the first time guidelines have been altered in 15 years.

The guide, published by the American Psychiatric Association, is used closely by mental health care professionals across the world.

The Journal of Mental Health, which Prof Wykes edits, contains a "health warning" about the planned changes in its latest issue, co-written by Prof Wykes and Dr Felicity Callard, from the Biomedical Research Centre for Mental Health at the South London and Maudsley NHS Foundation Trust.
Prof Wykes said the proposal for diagnosing "at risk" patients may lead to unnecessary psychological or medical treatments.

Dr Callard added: "If this category were to be introduced the people likely to be given this diagnosis are going to be relatively young. What are the implications of someone receiving a diagnosis that is not a diagnosis of a disorder as such, but a potential disorder?"

….so that’s it. Please feel free to visit this website:-

http://www.eccentricclub.co.uk/

30 Years of Fry & Laurie - a Tribute?

2010-06-04T04:48:00.000-07:00

I was up in town last week and for some strange reason - the same one that attracts the strange, odd and disaffected to me like dust - I was accosted by a small camera crew from Tiger Aspect Productions (no small-fry here - and no pun intended). “We’re putting together a programme to be broadcast later in the year", they said, " Thirty Years of Fry and Laurie, would you mind being interviewed?”

Normally I turn down things like this or fend them off with lines like “you’d have to speak to my Agent first”. But what they did not know was that about 25 years ago (in the late 1980s) I fleetingly worked on a couple of programmes that Fry & Laurie were involved with [Friday Night Live … or was it Saturday Night Live? and The Tube].

“Just don’t expect me to say anything complimentary about them”, I stung back, but the crew replied “No, that would be great”. So here are a few remembered questions and my replies:

Q: What’s your opinion about thirty years of Fry & Laurie?:
A: Well in their early days (A Bit Of Fry And Laurie) and most especially in Jeeves And Wooster they were superb and for many were the definitive couple - as Simon Cowell might say, they really nailed it. But then one got fat and neurotic and the other got thin, emaciated and psychotic and neither have produced anything of any worth since.......

Oops! [OK, maybe I forgot Blackadder]

Q: What's the first thought / word that comes into your mind when I say the name… Stephen Fry?
A: Over-exposed
Q: …and Hugh Laurie?
A: superb pianist.

Q: If you met them on the street, what would you like to say to them?: Stephen Fry?
A: Could you perhaps throw me a spare million pounds, please?
Q: …and Hugh Laurie?
A: why don’t you play the piano more often?

And that was it really. Well, all I can remember. I signed the Release Form and disappeared into the night. Most of it will probably end up on the cutting-room floor.
But seeing as they weren’t paying me for it, I felt justified in saying my bit.

Ready for my close-up, Mr. Scorsese

2010-05-23T08:37:00.000-07:00

And so I tripped into London for a casting call - not one of those open castings with thousands lining up, this was more targeted, there were only four of us in the room.

It was for some film-maker chappie called Martin Scorsese (he wasn’t there) for his new film The Invention of Hugo Cabret, based on the children’s novel by Brian Selznick. I’m told it’s part novel, part comix, part picture-book visual adventure, I must go out and get a copy.

It’s about a young kid who lives in the tunnels of the Paris Metro of the 1930s -filming across the next few months in London and Paris. Apparently they’ve built a huge set at Shepperton of the main Metro concourse. Somewhere along the line the story involves Georges Melies, the pioneer of movie making (aha, hence the fascination for Scorsese?) - sorry I can’t seem to add the accents.

Believe it when you see it, of course: but the idea was we were commuters on the Metro in 1930s Paris and we are supposed to react negatively to this mad surrealist artist working away on the Metro walls and denounce his work.

What they didn't tell people (but what I found out) is: the artist is a cameo played by..... yeah, well let’s keep quiet about that one for now! It‘s always good to have a few secrets. (Suffice to say: be still my beating heart).

There were only about four of us up for the commuters so I might be in with a chance.
And they wanted to know whether I could “take direction”, I guess.

They said they liked the moustache but the side whiskers would have to go. The standard response in circumstances like this is: "for a price, I will", but secretly I was thinking "for Mr S, he can slash my wrists and film me bleeding to death, I don't care".....

Let's see what happens anyways. (It’s not even due in the cinemas until December 2011, and it‘ll be in 3-D).

A day out in sunny…Walthamstow?

2010-05-08T12:55:00.000-07:00

Saturday 8th May, 2010
A relaxing, if uninspiring, day. First, a casting call booked for 1.30.pm at Blackhorse Road (yes, I had to look it up too). It’s sort of north-east London, vaguely near Walthamstow - it hardly lifted my spirits, but still…onwards and upwards.

So I got out of the tube at Blackhorse Road and set foot onto a deserted wasteland, like an industrial business park that had been evacuated years ago through some nuclear alert. In fact, the area was epitomised by my visit to this place:-

I was running thirty minutes early for the call so, deftly dodging the drifting tumbleweed, I decided to go for a coffee, and this place was about fifty feet from the station. I entered and there were just two people sitting by the window and behind the counter was a forlorn looking aging Turk - you felt like: if he smiled, his face would be rent asunder. And there was no menu. Anywhere.

So I said, all chipper, “A cup of coffee please”.

“No coffee”, he moaned, “coffee machine broke”. I looked at his food cabinets, every one of them empty and I struggled to find any kind of food - and there they were: four lonely looking deflated croissants. And that was it.

So I left. Once outside I could not resist taking that photo (above), then off I went to the casting.

Casting was the usual stuff: snap, snap, snap, chat, chat, chat, thank you, we’ll let you know. I left the building (on this glorified business park) and, looking for a place to relieve myself - as you do when you reach my age - I turned a corner and was confronted by this.

Is it me, or do I just attract the weird? This fantasy of fibre-glass seemed to epitomise the strange and surreal day that was developing around me. And besides, if the sole reason for this blog is a chance to post this picture up, fine.

On my way home I decided to drop into Walthamstow. It was a dump in the 1960s when I was growing up and has succeeded in expanding its capacity for being even more of a dump ever since.

Today, the only reason I might visit the place on the off-chance is to drop into the sari shops along Walthamstow market to browse the fabrics for possible future waistcoats. What a disappointment. Times must be hard, there was nothing of any interest or stimulation fabric-wise. What has gone wrong?

And the market itself?: nothing special, the same as any other scuzzy old London market in decline. Identikit. Kiddies clothes and foreign footwear. Cheap shit.

Elections, hung parliaments and political paralysis mean little to these people. Look at their faces. Nothing has changed.

At least I had a chance to drop into Manze’s for some (delicious) pie and mash and not bad at £3.95 for one pie, one mash and licker (hot parsley sauce/gravy).

This place is probably the last remnant in Walthamstow market - in Walthamstow itself maybe! - of the “true” East End from the era that I grew up in (1950s/60s)…and the opportunity to admire the interiors. Sadly the marble-top and iron tables were no more, replaced by plastic ones - probably a victim of Health & Safety or Hygiene or something, no doubt.

I don’t know if this place has a Preservation Order on it, but it should have.

I could tell you how I also felt like following my meal with a plate of jellied eels (but I passed on that) - at least I shall save your stomachs churning at the thought…. I mean, what is it about jellied eels that seems to turn people off???? They are yummy.

…And that was it really….an odd sort of day piqued by two tiny moments: the strange and the sublime.

But is good old fashioned pie and mash enough to make me want to stay in the UK? Hardly. I shall purchase the latest copy of Living Abroad magazine and ponder on’t.

(At least I’m glad my mobile phone has a camera in it - here’s an early attempt to frame the mannequins picture).

We need Your VOTES: (…and now I am become an Art Installation…Part 2)

2010-04-08T07:51:00.000-07:00

Regular readers of this blog may recall that in July of last year I was filmed for a future interactive video-art installation (I blogged about it in: http://rayfrenshamworld.blogspot.com/2009/08/and-now-i-am-become-art-installation.html ).

Well, the piece, called The People (by Ian Flitman), has made the final of the Canadian competition Flash In The Can.

We need your votes:
-go to...

http://www.fitc.ca/awards//pc/
- look down the 3rd column, 3rd box down…
- under “Audio in Flash”, there it is: The People.

You have to fill in your e-mail address but you can un-tick the box about ‘further postings’. As far as I can tell you can only vote once (per e-mail address)…

…In order to see the piece itself, go to:

http://www.blipstation.com/

click on: Play The People [there‘s also an Artistic Statement piece you can click on], it will take you to

http://www.blipstation.com/thepeople/webversion/release/ThePeople.html

then
- Click on Single.
- Run the cursor over the faces, my name will pop up in the box (eventually)
- then choose a voice-over randomly
- then choose various options for background noise or silence (plain traffic is best, I‘ve found)
- it will take a while to download so please be patient
…and see what you think
(It runs for about two or three minutes).

…oh, and the title The People is not some pretentious artistic whim, it’s the name of the poem by W.B. Yeats that we were listening to while being filmed.

Filming with Russian TV

2010-04-06T14:00:00.000-07:00

1st April - Back for another of the monthly evening gatherings of the Eccentric Club at the Arts Club in Dover Street - just off Piccadilly (can it really be exactly one year to the day since their Eccentric of the Year awards? - see the blog: )

Sadly, the long-awaited appearance and performance by fellow member Henry de Winter (aus Berlin) had to be postponed due to illness - new readers: put his name into the search box for this blog, and enjoy - but it Will happen.

At least Evgeny Ksenzenko from the Russian tv channel NTV was there [yes, girls, that’s him on the left, click on the pic to get him in his full glory - I really must have a word with him about how to tie up a necktie properly].

We did a little bit of filming (as per usual, walking along Piccadilly and then at the Club and a short interview). And here is the result (just copy and paste):-

http://www.ntv.ru/novosti/189725/

The text reads (sort of).....
“Here at the Eccentric Club, Ray and fellow member Lyndon York do not stick out as unusual [for the record I am with a chum Ian Valentine in that pic on the right, not Lyndon York]. The Club has a 200-year old history and among its patrons is Prince Philip, the Duke of Edinburgh (husband to the Queen)…

“…The club meets at 6.47.pm, a suitable choice for eccentrics (6.45 or 6.50 is too normal) and its motto is: Nothing But Good. To become a member you must be recommended by a fellow member.”

[Well, that’s how it kinda translates as best as I could work it out. Oh, and the two stills are from my mobile phone, with ghastly lighting, hence the “quality”].

Рaй Френшaм (That's what my name looks like in Russian).

Brunel Tunnel Opening & Fancy Fair (March 12th/13th)

2010-04-05T11:19:00.000-07:00

Apologies for my silence this past month: things to do…you know, a life to live, that sort of thing. Anyway….

A couple of weeks ago (Friday/Saturday, 12th / 13th March) I was invited along to a celebration at the Brunel Museum in South-east London, just behind the soon-to-open Rotherhithe tube station. The 1,300ft (396 metres) tunnel under the Thames originally built by Mark Brunel and supervised by his (then 21-year old) son Isambard Kingdom Brunel. It opened in 1852 and was not only used as a railway tunnel but in the early days also hosted a number of cultural events, dinners, balls and Fancy Fairs.

To mark the occasion of its reopening to the public after 145 years the Museum decided to recreate a Fancy Fair (this time above ground) and run a series of walks through the tunnel. [Again, click on the pics for the full-sized versions].

Getting there was fairly straightforward (well, on the Friday night it was anyway): tube train to Stratford, change on to the Jubilee Line, direct to Canada Water. After that it was a little bit of a walk, but at least door-to-door it worked out a little over an hour. Here was the entrance to the Fair and in the outside space of the museum there was a cornucopia of musicians, strongmen-tumblers (Victor and Ian), aerialists, jugglers, “pick-pockets”, a Victorian photographer and various Victorian characters (and me, of course!).

I also bumped into some friends from the Strolling groups (unsurprisingly, really). Below is (l-r) Ray, and Steve Leggett (who organises the excellent group www.victorianstrollers.co.uk) and my good self. This photo below was taken by Andrew Smith (who also blogs as “McTumshie”, he’s also on flickr).

We were there for both nights, and I also decided to have some photos taken by the Victorian lady photographer who was there with her backdrop and props. The chap next to me [below] is young actor Ben Clabon from Southampton. He was depicting the young Brunel and I must admit to being somewhat envious of his top hat (in certain re-enacting circles it would seem that size Is everything!):

All in all, it was a splendid evening - so too the following evening (Saturday), it was just the getting-there that made me rant and rage……

You see, courtesy of Tubelines who are responsible for these things, the full bloody Jubilee line was shut down for the entire weekend: this year they are closing the line for about 40 of the 52 weekends for “track maintenance”. So I left home an hour earlier that night, and Still it took me two and a half hours to get there (and the same time to get back home). The Central line into Stratford was fine, and naturally you’re looking for the replacement bus service, and there it was - about 800 yards away from the station entrance. [This is Stratford, remember: Gateway to the 2012 Olympics!].

[Photo, left, by David Linleys]

So I got on the bus. Now, you would think when it says “replacement bus service” that the bus stops you’d be stopping at would vaguely align to the different train stations along the line. Oh no. Not with the Jubilee Line, it would seem. There are only five stops on the Jubilee line between Stratford and Canada Water (a journey of about 15-18 minutes). But the Bus?……

Well, we left Stratford and meandered generally via Canning Town towards the Blackwall Tunnel (neither stops on the tube line) and then, after about 40 minutes, terminated at North Greenwich (another stop not on the Jubilee line). I asked “how to I get to Canada Water?” and they said: “well normally you’d have to get on the 118 bus and it’ll take you there”. And so I did.

On the bus we travelled on….and on…and on…and on, through Greenwich and Lewisham and on through Deptford (i.e. a tour of the squalor palaces of South London). After about 30 minutes I started to get that feeling ‘I’m sure I’ve gone past it’, so I asked the bus driver…….

Let’s just say that entire bloody bus journey took 45 minutes to get to Canada Water station. At least when I finally staggered to the Fancy Fair after two and a half hours of travelling, I was ready to enjoy myself.

I bumped into a trio of new chums and got some more Victorian portraits done:

This is me with the theatre Stage- and Production Manager Joseph Denby (right).

So he and I, together with Peter from Deerstalker Cycles and his companion Sophie Taylor, decided to venture into the Tunnel for one of the last ever public walks.

There was serious confusion on both days over the bookings for the Tunnel Walk (which started at the entrance to Rotherhithe station) with many irate customers. It seems the walk that people booked online for (thinking it was the Tunnel Walk) was for some other escorted walk (that started elsewhere).

Bad organisation from Transport for London, especially since this was the last opportunity any member of the public would have of doing this walk ever again [TfL later admitted to me they could have sold out that Tunnel Walk “two hundred times over”]. Lessons learnt here perhaps? I doubt it. To think these people get paid extortionate amounts of money to do things right! At last they weren’t responsible for the organising of the actual Fancy Fair, which went splendidly.

At last we managed to sneak in and tag on to the end.

[By the way, the scowl on my face is due to the coldness of the atmosphere down there and not because I was in a grumpy mood...perish the thought - Note, too the plastic surgical gloves wee were required to wear...Health and Safety yadda yadda yadda. You'll also notice the wind was so strong it was blowing part of my moustache forward - gives me a very odd look!].

On the journey home (another two and a half hours!) I came away thinking: (a) for me it was a terrific event, on both evenings - all the more amazing after I learnt that the Events company charged with putting on the Fair part had barely two weeks to pull it all together [that is somewhat typical of Transport for London, the London Development Agency and the Mayor’s office - bad management and panicking at the last minute again?], and (b) it’s just so bloody typical that after everybody’s hard efforts - including the above three organisations - to make a really great event, Tubelines typically come along and potentially bugger it all up by casually announcing they’re shutting the Jubilee Line for the weekend. This is typical of London today, I am afraid, visitors.

At least I enjoyed myself.

My Birthday in London with Matt & Enrique from FineandDandyShop.com

2010-03-02T15:43:00.000-08:00

March 2nd: I won't prattle on about my birthday. Suffice to say Matt & Enrique from New York's www.fineanddandyshop.com (and http://fineanddandyshop.blogspot.com) were in town for a few days and for the first time in months of this gruelling London winter...the spring sunshine came out.

It was a lovely day and here's the link to their posting:

We travelled variously along Jermyn Street (and the various ancient Arcades), St. James's Street, up Old and New Bond Streets to Oxford Street, then Regent Street via Curzon Street,

...on to Savile Row (especially Ayres, my tailor) and back to Piccadilly. I lost count of the coffees we consumed....

…and this final shot was taken by Ayres in our (final) coffee shop of the day.

...and here are a couple of more pics just sent to me by Matt Fox (again, click on them to see them expand like a butterfly into their huge glory!!).

Sartorial Questions - 3: Tipping One's Hat (a Guide)

2010-02-26T05:20:00.000-08:00

I came across this rather splendid blog (and he discovered my blog!):
http://www.lordlikely.com
and plunged into my Lordship's archives to discover this excellent piece. Do click on the pic to get the larger version:

(http://www.lordlikely.com/archives/random-insertions/lord-likelys-guide-to-tipping-ones-hat)

Enjoy.

CNN cross-posting with FineandDandyShop blog....

2010-02-09T10:52:00.000-08:00

...and our friends at FineAndDandyShop did a cross-posting of our CNN story with their blog.....

http://fineanddandyshop.blogspot.com/2010/02/dandies-online-cnn.html
Thank you Matt, Enrique and Charles.

Now I’m on CNN: Timewarp Living

2010-02-05T10:14:00.000-08:00

In the past couple of months a Producer for CNN in America, the excellent Henry Hanks, has been putting together a piece about (what he has dubbed) Timewarp Living.

Finally, it has just appeared in the iReporter strand on the following link:

http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/02/04/time.warp.irpt/

All my chums are there: Tadd Casner in Pennsylvania, Mark Davids from Amsterdam, Mikael Sjolund in Sweden, Estelle from Rhode Island, Harry & Edna in Blighty.

Let’s hope they do a follow-up piece, there are plenty more of us out there.

Here’s what the text says.

(CNN) -- Social networking may be one of the biggest phenomenons of the 21st century, but for some denizens of the Web, it's a way to get in touch with the past.

Web sites like livinghistoryworldwide.com (with a membership of more than 5,700) and groups on Facebook allow people who enjoy past eras to connect with each other. But it goes beyond that: Some of them dress and live like they would decades, if not centuries, ago.

Step into Estelle Barada's living room in Providence, Rhode Island, and you might feel like you've traveled back to the 1890s.

Barada, a hotel caterer, sees it as an escape from her stressful job.

"I was the middle child and kind of like the dreamer, and for some strange reason I always dreamed of living not in America, but England," she explained. "I imagined having tea with the queen and touring the castle and that was my dream as a little girl."

Today, "Lady Estelle," as she likes to be called, lives out that dream by hosting tea parties for her friends while dressed in Victorian clothing, completely in character.
When going out, she's dressed in a more understated fashion, but still completely consistent with the late 1800s, with a long skirt and hat. "I always wear hats and when I go shopping, I get the attention of the older women, who say, I love the way you look," she said.

"Eighteen-seventy-four should have been my birth date ... instead of 1974," said Raychyl Whyte of Hamilton, Ontario. Her fascination with the Victorian era began in childhood, coinciding with a pop cultural revival of Victorian themes in the 1970s.

Whyte and her "Victorian gentleman" began restoration on a circa-1898 house in 2008. Now they host 1800s-themed events there, where dress from the time period is always encouraged. They use Meetup.com to organize these events as part of the Hamilton Victorian & Steampunk Society.

Why would one live this lifestyle? For many of these iReporters, it's a reaction to modern society just as much as a love of the fashion and style of days gone by.

"I suppose others might call me an eccentric, but I just live the life I want to live and don't care about what others say or think about me," said Ray Frensham, a "Living Victorian," from London, England. "Even though I've felt increasingly disconnected from the modern world for many years now, I'm not retreating into some past nether-world seeking a kind of comfort-blanket."

Modern society in the United Kingdom can be "remarkably cruel and unforgiving," Frensham said. "There is certainly no sense of any kind of community anymore," he said. "People are purely self-centered, only in it for what they can get out of themselves." He points to the recent MP expenses scandal there, which led to the resignation of British House of Commons Speaker Michael Martin, as an example.

At the same time, something just feels right to Frensham when he wears a suit and bow tie, or more recently, an ascot. "It just creates a mind set that you're ready to face the day," he said.

Frensham is also the coordinator of the London Victorian Strollers, who take walks around the city while decked out in Victorian garb, and says that the reaction from passers-by, especially tourists, is extremely positive. "It's quite extraordinary, people just love it."

Social networking certainly plays a large role, but Frensham also believes that groups like the Strollers (with its 125 members on Facebook) are emerging more and more lately. "I think it's just a lot of people saying 'I don't like what I see anymore, so let's create our own reality.' "

Carmen Johnson of Orlando, Florida, certainly sees that as being the case. She runs one of several social networking sites that bring together retro lifestyle enthusiasts of all stripes. "The first thing I ask [members of the Web site] is what they would like to bring from the past. Many of them say they would like to see the return of good manners and morals," she said. "They like the values of respect for women, respect for others. Now with the society we live in, anything goes."

Johnson, like Frensham, can trace at least some of what influences her to Hollywood. Growing up in the 1970s and '80s, she was a big fan of "Grease," Elvis Presley and "I Love Lucy," but "Back to the Future" captured her imagination. "Just thinking about traveling in time to whatever year that I always dreamed about was fascinating to me!" she said. Needless to say, the 1950s are her favorite era. This translated into her pursuit of art, which she described as both modern and retro.

When her love of this time translated into reality upon viewing a documentary about "time warp wives," she was inspired to start the blog Timewarpwives.com, eager for the opportunity to interview women who live their lives as "traditional 1950s housewives."

Now, those with casual interest as well as those who live their lives in a past era, what Johnson calls "timewarpians," interact on her site, Timewarpliving.com, which boasts more than 250 members. "When people come to this site, they see that they're not alone," she said.

Johnson considers "Lady Estelle" Barada to be a great example of a "timewarpian." Barada hopes to pass on the manners, if not necessarily the fashion, of the era to the next generation by hosting parties with young girls and teaching them about etiquette.

As for her own granddaughters, she said they love paying a visit. "They ask their mother if they can wear a pretty dress and go to grandmother's house."

Photo details (from the top):
1 & 2: Myself with the London Victorian Strollers
[ http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=91681453714#/group.php?gid=91681453714 ]

3 - Estelle Barada (Providence, Rhode island, US)
4 - Mark Davids (Amsterdam, the Netherlands)
5 - Raychyl White & John Stewart (Hamilton, Ontario, Canada)
6 - Friends of Vintage Baseball, Hartford, Connecticut, USA

7 - Tadd Kelby Casner (Pennsylvania, USA)
8 - Carmen Johnson (Orlando, Florida, USA)
9 - Harry & Edna Dickinson (Norfolk, UK)
10 - Mikael Sjolund (Trollbacken, Sweden)

Alongside the main text, the photos (above) had sidebar information as follows:

1. Whether they consider themselves Victorians, Edwardians or “Timewarpians,” iReporters from around the globe are so fascinated with past eras, they are practically living them. Meet Ray Frensham of London, England, a “modern-day living Victorian”.

2. Frensham is also coordinator of the London Victorian Strollers, seen here on a stroll. Frensham finds himself “increasingly disconnected” from the modern UK society, which he calls “cruel and unforgiving”. He prefers the Victorian view of “respect for one’s fellow human beings, courtesy and pleasure in the simple things of life”.

3. Beginning in 1997, Mark David’s home in Amsterdam, the Netherlands, slowly became what he called a “living museum in the style of the 1880s-1940s”. He said that he now has nothing modern except from his tv and computer. In about 2001 I started to dress in older clothes as well”, he explained and he now wears them daily.

4. “Timewarpian” Estelle Barada keeps her Providence, Rhode Island living room and dining room always ready for a Victorian tea party. When she goes out, she likes to stay consistent with styles of that time as well. She traces her interest in a more refined lifestyle to seeing the “Nutcracker Suite” as a child.

5. Raychyl Whyte met “the Victorian gentleman of my dreams” in 2003. Now the two live in a circa-1898 home in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada, which they recently restored.

6. The “Friends of Vintage Baseball” play “America’s pastime” in Hartford, Connecticut, using 19th century rules, equipment and uniforms. Organization president Karen O’Maxfield said that cries of “Huzzah!” and “Well struck, sir!” can be heard during the games. They hope to start a league in May,

7. Tadd Kelby Casner says he has a “natural talent for history and historic information”. This interest in history led to a fascination with vintage men’s fashion., accessories and etiquette. He counts himself “terribly lucky” to be live in a Victorian mansion in Reading, Pennsylvania, where he often plays his 1923 Victor Victrola phonograph and writes with his restored vintage fountain pen. (The hearse ion this photo, shot at a party, belongs to a friend who owns a funeral home).

8. Carmen Johnson of Orlando, Florida calls herself a “retro artist, reporter and film-maker”. A documentary on the subject inspired her Web site, timewarpwives.com, where she interviews people like her from all over the world who take a great interest in times past. She refers to them as “timewarpians”. Johnson shared a video on her exploits with CNN iReport.

9. Harry and Edna Dickinson” use the names of their grandparents when performing historical re-enactments. They first met while attending nostalgic events such as these. The 1940s became a lifestyle for them when they started replacing their modern furniture with period pieces. “Why have a modern coffee pot or salt shaker, and nor use the wonderful, original deco coffee pot you have packed away in the loft?” Harry said.

10. Pay a visit to this small office in Trollbacken, Sweden and you might meet Mikael Sjolund, a technician and assembler who lives the “time warp” lifestyle whether at work or at play. “My interest for Victorian clothes came about five years ago, but it’s only been a year or two that I’ve dressed historically accurate”.

Funny.....

2010-02-04T06:00:00.000-08:00

I saw this the other day and simply could not resist it.

....well I find it funny anyway!

[visit: www.kyle-brady.com ]

London Photo Shoot - thelisbontailor.blogspot.com

2010-01-31T08:18:00.001-08:00

Here are some of the results of one of the Photo Shoots I did in London last week (see my previous blog, done on 22nd January / posted up on 24th January). Click on the pics to see them open up.

Ze Cabral, the photographer, runs a website http://thelisbontailor.blogspot.com / http://oalfaiatelisboeta.blogspot.com (the Portuguese language version). Each day he posts up a fashion-based photo of wherever he travels, and he was in London briefly last week.

He’s a friend of my tailor, Ayres Goncalo, who suggested the shoot.

We met under the arches of the Ritz Hotel in Piccadilly, especially convenient as it was raining most of that day, so we were restricted as to where to get the best light.

The first lot of shots (with a telephone box in the background) must’ve been a bit dark, as I don’t have any copies of those. But this second batch (of 14 shots) were much better, light-wise and London-icon-wise (note the buses along Piccadilly).

[I’m sure that for some readers, especially abroad, the sight of a London bus will bring tears of nostalgia to their eyes, these days it only brings feelings of rage inside of us in the UK, feelings of waiting ages for a bus that doesn’t arrive, of discomfort when you sit down, of rowdiness from other passengers…. I won’t go on!].

Ze said he liked my clenched fist - not that I realised I was doing it - I guess it was because, even with my gloves on, it was so bloody cold that morning!

I like ‘em, anyway! And they’re an accurate record of how I look whenever I am in town. Thanks Ze…and Ayres.

This is the shot Ze chose for his website. (If you go to his Flickr site you can see the pic open out into HUGE detail: http://www.flickr.com/photos/oalfaiatelisboeta/4318625842/?addedcomment=1#comment72157623320609926 )

http://thelisbontailor.blogspot.com/2010/01/ray-frensham-is-this-gentleman.html

http://oalfaiatelisboeta.blogspot.com/2010/01/ray-frensham-o-melhor-de-fotografar.html

A Day of Photo Shoots + the BBC in London

2010-01-24T17:31:00.000-08:00

What’s that they say about London buses?: you wait ages for one to come along them three turn up in succession.

Originally, my plans for last Friday (24th Jan) were simple: a few weeks ago, Imants of the Eccentric Club ( www.eccentricclub.co.uk) asked would I mind being snapped and interviewed by a student photographer Ainsley Towli from the Ravensbourne College of Design and Communication in Kent. She’s putting together her degree show and part of that is to make a book profiling English Eccentrics…… “over the age of 65” !!! [Bloody cheek, I thought- but vanity was triumphant, and I agreed].

So, the plan was to meet her at my now-regular London base, the Arts Club in Dover Street (just off Piccadilly). The time we set was 1.30pm.

Then a couple of days before the meet, Imants said that the BBC Local News planned to film the next Eccentric Club monthly drinks evening (Thursday 28th) and would I mind being interviewed by one of their reporters. Maybe I’m a softie (and I don’t do this stuff for ego or self-promotion) I agreed.

Again, after some negotiation, we settled on the Arts Club location. And seeing as I knew the BBC reporter - Gareth Furby - and was well acquainted with his body of work, I told him to turn up at 3pm. (He said he’d turn up at 2pm but I kept telling him that 3pm would be much the best time).

And then, on the very day before the event, my tailor Ayres asked me if I would mind being photographed by a fellow Portuguese chum of his, Ze Cabral, who has a fashion blog: http://thelisbontailor.blogspot.com / http://oalfaiatelisboeta.blogspot.com . I looked at the calendar and suggested we meet up at Green Park tube (on Piccadilly) about 12.15pm.

As is typical for London, everything is dependent on the weather!

So, come the morning of Friday, I am preparing my ablutions and choosing my clothes for the day - from silk topper to spats - and beyond the windowpane it is fair pissing down with rain out there. Contemplating the day ahead: three shoots and two interviews, at least I was consoled that at least two of them were to be done indoors.. Just pace myself, I thought.

Again, typically for London, the tube lines were in various states of delay. I eventually got into town by 12.30 and we decided to meet up under the arches of the Ritz Hotel on Piccadilly and for the next forty minutes he snapped away. At least, standing under the arches onto Piccadilly, it was relatively dry [I am a bit sniffy about ruining my silk top hats especially] and there was enough light for Ze to get some shots he was happy with. I shall post up some results when I receive them. (They will not just be on his blog - link above - but also on his Flickr site: http://www.flickr.com/photos/oalfaiatelisboeta/

Then Ze, Ayres and I went for a coffee; I texted Ainsley that I was running a little late (mostly because, when I’d finished the coffee, I planned to nip into Crombie, just round the corner in Conduit Street ( http://www.crombie.co.uk ), and look at some particularly spiffing polka dot silk pocket handkerchiefs in their sale for just £10 ( http://www.crombie.co.uk/p/Category_Men_Handkerchiefs/30044HN.htm ) - I couldn’t resist the maroon one and the lilac one….so shoot me!

1.40pm - I crossed the road and nipped into the Arts Club in Mayfair
( http://www.theartsclub.co.uk ) to meet Ainsley Towli, who was already waiting quietly for me in the inner foyer.

She was absolutely charming, in her early twenties I should say (I guess everyone over the age of thirty looks ancient to these youngsters!) We went upstairs, found a quiet place in an ante room and she set the tape recorder running and I just prattled on my merry way for an hour. Even when the Beeb’s Gareth turned up at 2pm, I kept rattling on, and sent him down into the basement bowels of the Club to amuse himself.

Ainsley and I sat by one of the windows on the first floor of the Club, with plenty of light, and eventually she managed to take about a dozen stills, and then a few more outside on the steps of the Club. (Whether she wants to take more at a later date, I don’t know; but I shall post them here when I get copies). And I shall certainly plug the book when it comes out and her final Show when it is organised.

All in all, a rather pleasant time was had by us both - AND she paid for our cappuccino and pot of tea (let’s just say it was over £7.00).

And so we reached 3pm. Time for my close-up, Mr. DeMille. Poor Gareth, all on his own in the basement, flicking through endless magazines and not a drink passed his lips. In the old days, the BBC would send a Reporter (him), a camera chap, a sound operator and probably a driver too. These days, it is a completely one-man operation - it‘s called multi-tasking - although some might call it cutting corners. And the camera, although smaller than the ones of yore, was still a substantial piece of kit. You could tell by the shredded left shoulder of his sweater that the camera really does pound and rip into the clothes (one dreads to think what it must do to his suits). I suggested he buy one of those Barbour shooting sweaters with leather/suede shoulder patches.

Actually the interview went rather well, although I must’ve disappointed him when he asked me “So what made you want o to join the Eccentric Club?”, and I replied: “I didn’t….Someone nominated me for the Eccentric of the Year Awards last April, and I still don’t know who that person was”…. and to be honest, I still don’t really consider myself to be an Eccentric - Individualist, perhaps, but not necessarily eccentric; I just live my life the way I wish to live it and don’t really care about what others think or say about me”.

I suppose to a certain extent, in these interviews, you tell the interviewer what you think they want to hear; but a couple of his questions really started me thinking. I said to him that when I wear these clothes (which I do about 70% of the time these days), and especially when I go into town, I do feel like I am connecting to a more civilised lifetime, a slower body clock, experiencing an almost Zen-like sense of peace and contentment.

I said it felt a little like being a walking embodiment of The Slow Movement (the one that started in Italy, of going back to the land and organic foods, the cultural shift of slowing down life’s pace, about quality of life and a sense of Community.
[ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slow_Movement ]….whatever next?: living without a television set?!

And I quoted Henry David Thoreau: “If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a Different Drummer”. I was getting to be the right little philosopher…an Englishman in, er, London!

After the chat and the filming in the Club, we took a few shots outside, walking along the streets of Piccadilly, tight-shots on the spats, that sort of thing (luckily the rain had pretty much stopped by then).

And so we packed up and headed back to Cafe Nero for a couple of coffees to discuss the state of the nation. Gareth is 46 now, a remarkable achievement I thought, seeing as the BBC seems to cull everyone over the age of 35 these days. Hang on in their Furby, you are the voice of sanity for us middle-agers!

He’s back at Dover Street next Thursday night for the Eccentric Club’s monthly drinks get-together.

Let’s see how it all cuts down in the edit after that! (Mind you, I didn’t sign a Release Form, come to think of it!)

Here’s the final transmitted version from BBC iPlayer (I am trying to get someone to make a copy for me):
http://news.bbc.co.uk/local/london/hi/people_and_places/newsid_8487000/8487684.stm [Not bad at all, considering he only had less than two minutes; and it could have been so so much worse].

...Here is the Eccentric Club's own blog about the film:
http://eccentricclub.blogspot.com/2010/02/eccentric-club-through-looking-glass-of.html#comment-form

...and here are a few pics by Raymondo Marcus (www.raymondomarcus.com) from the Eccentric Club's gathering a few days later on the 28th, where the Beeb did more of their filming:

And no I didn’t get paid, sadly, but if the BBC stuff brings in any work via Extras-type work from agencies, fine.

ME as seen by Damien Weighill

2010-01-11T09:55:00.000-08:00

Ever eager to be seen to be a patron of the arts, I came across this marvellous young (well, he's younger than me) artist Damien Weighill ):

http://yourfaceblog.blogspot.com

...so I sent him a "face-pic" (I believe that is the modern vernacular) and this is what he sent me back.

I think he's captured something rather rakish about me. What do you think?

Perhaps I should get the t-shirt or the tea-towel.....
Do visit his site, he really is rather good.

http://www.damienweighill.com

Sartorial Questions - 2: The elusive Grey Homburg Hat

2010-01-06T12:43:00.000-08:00

Q: I spent some time trudging round St James', hoping to buy a light grey Homburg, and all the shops there deny the existence of such a thing. A google search came up with your name. Have you managed to acquire one? (John, London UK)

A: Yes, I did get a dark grey homburg a couple of years ago. Here it is:

It was from America, as I recall (and a little darker grey than the picture shows) - naturally, I swiftly removed the somewhat ostentatious feathers.

You could always try somewhere like eBay for a vintage one (I think that‘s where I got mine from) , but be also aware that American hat sizes are different to UK ones, they are one size up (a UK 6 7/8s equals a US 7, and so on). These days it’s best to stick to the inches or cms measurements.

However, I would recommend: Hornets Hats of 36b Kensington Church Street, London W8 4BX [Tel: 020 7937 9192]. http://www.hornetshats.com they deal exclusively in Christy’s hats - very good hats at very reasonable prices.

Note: if you visit their site,
http://www.hornetshats.com/f_hatview.php?link=Fur%20Felts (about two-thirds down the page), you will see they have put up a photo of what looks like a bowler hat - it‘s not a mistake; it’s actually a Homburg shown “open-crown”, ready for you to bash/style for yourself.

But here you will find your Grey Homburg.

Made to order for £55 and in the following colours:
Black, Navy, Bessemer (Grey), Sable, Elm, Red Wine, Beige, Light Sable, Green mix, Grey Mix, Light Grey, Burma, Brown Mix, Cork, Peatwood and Maize. (You will find the exact colour scheme along the top strip of the page - click on a colour for a larger window).

My advice is to try and visit the Hornets Hats shop first, to check on size for fit and to look at the colour variations at close hand (if they have any available), and then order online [these are made to order anyway; besides they only have a limited selection in their shops]…. Or at the very least contact them online first to discuss your requirements [enquiries@hornetshats.com ]

When ordering online, the postage will be £7.50 extra (within the UK). While you’re at it, you might as well buy a Christy’s hat box too (it’s worth the £10).

My advice is: once you’ve received your hat, take it along to the shop and they will be happy to shape and fit it for you.

You will also find a Grey Christys Homburg being sold for £64 + postage (£5.95-£7.95) at www.tailsandtheunexpected.co.uk in Cardiff, Wales [they only sell Black and Grey Homburgs].

…and another UK source for a Christy (The Hat Company), this time for £49.95 (plus £2.95 UK postage; hat box = £9.99):
http://www.thehatcompany.com/product/homburg_or_anthony_in_fur_felt_359

In all cases, expect a minimum of two weeks from time of order to delivery.

Postscript: Since posting this blog, so taken was I by my own words, I decided I was due a belated Christmas present and have ordered a Light Grey Homburg from Hornets myself. [Perhaps next step, the purple….]

And finally, for your enjoyment, another American Homburg creation (yes, you can actually buy this):

…also available in Pink...

...and in Purple....

...and many other colours...

A Song that sums up 2009...

2009-12-28T17:34:00.001-08:00

This track came out in 2009 from the duo Show Of Hands (Steve Knightley & Phil Beer). For me, and for many of the people I know, it sums up everything about this past year: Arrogance Ignorance And Greed (AIG).

Just buy the album, it's brilliant:

How to take on Lloyds/TSB Bank - and Win!!

2009-12-11T11:23:00.000-08:00

I thought I’d best hold back releasing this blog until the money had cleared into my account, which it did this weekend.

People in the UK are very well aware about how we, the public, have bailed out our Banks in recent months, of how the Government instructed the banks to get the cash flowing again by more lending, and how this never happened (did we ever expect it to?).

Here’s a story that proves just how stubborn and idiotic the people in charge of our banks really are, and I wonder if our economy ever IS going to recover ever again.

About this time last year, I was planning to rent-out my parents’ house (which I now owned). It just needed a bit of work to bring it up to rentable condition. I was quoted by the agents “about £2000”. I could sort this out myself but it would be very tight for a few weeks.

So I went to my bank (Lloyds TSB - yes, the one that we, the public, now own over 44% of) and thought I’d ask for either a short-term loan or an overdraft facility for about £1,500 for just six weeks. It was a guaranteed rent with (according to the agent) clients ready to move in.

I spoke to Simon, my bank manager (a chap I’d known for over fifteen years since he started as counter staff). Simon and I have always got on well, but he said there was a problem.

“If it were up to me, Ray, and knowing what I know of you, I would have no hesitation in lending you anything up to twenty five thousand, straight away. The trouble is: we long ceased to be traditional bank managers. These days we are salesmen: do you want an insurance policy…how about house coverage….or a different type of account?…that sort of thing.

“This concept of us making informed discretionary decisions based on our local knowledge and on the conduct of the customers’ accounts was long abandoned. These days our decisions are dictated to us by computer-generated fiscal models and credit-reference agency reports which, in a good number of cases, are simply wrong! So, sorry, Ray, no-can-do.”

I even offered to put the house up as collateral but he said that way could not be justified as the cost of setting up the arrangement would probably be greater than the amount wanted in the first place. Simon was supportive, but there was nothing he was allowed to do.

I decided to write to Sir Victor Blank’s office (he was - then - Chairman of Lloyds/TSB: photo above) to outline the ludicrousness of the whole situation, bearing in mind the growing pressure the banks were under from Government to facilitate liquidity again. I will say, to his credit (albeit after seven weeks of regular pressure from me) Blank’s office came up with a way round this problem: to treat the deal as a business loan, which would mean there are different criteria for judgements, and the deal might be done.

So I was then thrown over to the Bank’s Head of Business Loans - one Mr. Tony Hopson (I did warn you, Mr. Hopson, that I would mention your name in despatches!) at the Barking branch - a branch about ten miles away [even my own bank manager had never heard of him!].

He was passed Sir Victor Blank’s letter and it was not difficult to read between the lines of how to make this arrangement happen, and Tony Hopson gave me the firm impression that this is how it would happen…after all, he opened up a new Business Account for me (even if he did want to charge me £100 for the privilege).

The account opened, the cheque book printed, the statement sent charging me £100, he then calmly announced that he could not let me have the overdraft facilities…”because you don‘t fit the standard model for loans”…..!

For some reason Mr. Hopson seemed genuinely baffled when I asked him “well why did we open this new account in the first place?” He just didn’t get it…. and I told him to take me to court if he wanted his £100. [He subsequently did nothing].

Meanwhile, I had already sorted out my finances and the house was, by now, being refurbished. But for me, this had become a matter of principle.

I went back to my friendly bank manager to recount this bizarre episode and we got chatting. In the daily Press stories were starting to appear about how Lloyds/TSB was now the most complained-about bank in the UK and that many of these complaints centred around the selling of (unwanted) Insurance Protection Cover for loans issued.

I mentioned that in 2002 I had a loan out with the bank over a few years, and that I distinctly remember being told by the (then) manager - let’s call him Sean - “if you don’t take out the policy, you won’t get the loan”. Inevitably, I capitulated, even though I never needed the policy. I felt I was miss-sold this Insurance cover, I still had the paperwork (including my handwritten notes which clearly read - and underlined - “no policy = no loan”). I also remember that soon after my taking out this loan, Sean left the bank for another career. “Well, Sean always did sail a bit close to the wind”, was my bank manager’s opinion.

And so I put in my complaint to:
Customer Care,
Lloyds TSB Insurance,
Tredegar Park,
Newport,
South Wales
NP10 8SB
(Tel: 0845 300 5599 / Fax: 01633 468835)

Filling in the (very easy) forms, I worked out that over the years of the loan I had paid a total of £883.20 for the insurance cover - and that’s how much (minimum) I was claiming for. I was also encouraged by subsequent statistics which showed that, of all the complaints against Lloyds/TSB’s “miss-selling” of Insurance Cover, 83% were found in favour of the customer.

Surprisingly quickly, within eight weeks (this was now November 2009) they got back to me and upheld my complaint, without question. They would refund me my £883.20 plus 8% interest for something this and 8% under that model. I still had no idea how much I would get.

In early December I phoned them up to enquire about my money, they told me “we are still working on October’s refunds, we are very behind in this” - but at least they assured me I would get the money “before Christmas”, but I still had no idea about how much.

Last week they sent me a letter to tell me how much I would get, and the money is in my account now……well….. let’s just say it is nicely above £1,200. And tax-free.

I believe they call this Reeee-Zult!

I went back to my original bank manager (Simon), told him the story (I felt he was always supportive of me from the start) and said to him: “Isn’t it ironic that we’ve moved from a position where your bank Could have made money out of me in the form of short-term interest rates to a position where I want money from your bank, and now I’ve got it”.

So there we are:
£1,500 - the amount of overdraft I wanted for just six weeks
£883.20 - the amount I was claiming for a ‘miss-sold’ insurance policy
£1,200+ - the amount they finally gave me back.

And That, dear reader, tells you everything you need to know about the state of the British economy today and the people in charge of our so-called economic recovery. What a pathetic farce the once-respected British banking system has become (and I am speaking as a former banker)

Bratislava Hot Serenaders - Broken Record

2009-11-18T16:41:00.000-08:00

Time to cheer me up again. The Bratislava Hot Serenaders in concert.

Appreciate just how tight and professional this band are. Enjoy.

Broken Britain - 11: Another BT Rant

2009-11-05T05:38:00.000-08:00

If you read my last blog about EDF Energy and thought it was a one-off, let me recount something that happened on Monday with BT (British Telecom - yes, them again; see my entries http://rayfrenshamworld.blogspot.com/2008/11/bt-rantapologies-for-recent-silence.html November 26th, 2008 and http://rayfrenshamworld.blogspot.com/2009/10/how-to-take-on-bt-and-win.html October 4th, 2009 ).

Overseas readers my not be aware but we in the UK have been hit by a series of all-out Postal Strikes, lasting about 2-3 days each time and severely disrupting our e-bay deliveries and especially our bills.

So, on the afternoon of Monday 2nd November I received a batch of mail which included two from BT: one, dated 25th October was a bill for £51.61 for line rental; the other was a, somewhat threatening, chaser letter “Your payment is late”, dated 29th October). This was a little odd considering both letters contained the words “please pay by Wednesday 4th November” - this being, after all, Monday 2nd.

I also noted that BT had failed to credit me £3 from my last bill, which they’d promised to do. So I phoned up the ‘Customer Services’ (sic) number and, after countless “if you wish to sell your Mother, Press One; if you wish to smash your head against a brick wall, Press Two….” options, I got through to someone…in a Call Centre…in Delhi (this is standard for BT).

He claimed he was aware of the postal strike but still said the bill remained outstanding.

Anyway, I decided to just bite the bullet, walk across the road to my bank, and pay the bill (in cash).

Much later that evening (the 2nd, remember) I noticed my telephone line could not dial out. There was a pre-recorded message to phone an 0800 number to discuss this Restricted Access. However, it said I could phone them “anytime between 8.am. and 8.pm”….. it was now 9.30.pm.

Next morning (Tuesday 3rd) I was phoned on my mobile, by BT, a pleasant-sounding American woman (I don’t know her location). I kept my cool and simply asked what the hell they were doing restricting my line. I mentioned my previous (successful) run-ins with BT, I mentioned OffCom, I mentioned Otelo and the ‘Alternative Disputes Resolution’ (that term always sends shivers down their spine). And then I added:

“May I draw your attention to three simple facts?:
1 - There is a postal strike in the UK, 2 - I didn’t even receive a bill until yesterday afternoon, and….er…., 3 - That bill was paid yesterday”.

There was a long, long embarrassed silence at the other end, and I enjoyed drawing out this theatrical pause.

Then I said, very calmly: “Would you like to take this opportunity to make a profound and grovelling apology to me?” She sounded sheepish and said she would restore the line.

You would think that was the end of the story. But that’s not the way BT do things here.

A few hours later (Tuesday afternoon, remember), the line was still not restored, I got a call from BT, from their Delhi Call Centre again, asking why I hadn’t paid my bill yet.

I just let rip and said “just wait for my next blog”. Their (barely comprehendible) Customer Assistant told me “it would take up to 24 hours to restore things”. How preposterous. I finally said to him: “Look, don’t bother apologising. We live in an apologist society - the more you apologise, the less meaning it has. Just fix the line, OK? - Now”.

Finally, by late Tuesday night, the line was miraculously working again.

….and it never occurred to me to query why they were treating me like this when the bill’s payment deadline was…er…Wednesday 4th.

As you can tell, dear Reader, BT are always eager to cut you off(even on such a meagre sum as £51) yet not so keen to actually deliver a decent service. [And what of all those corporate clients who have outstanding bills running into thousands of pounds? BT are not so enthusiastic to bully and throw their weight around with them, are they?

Again I say: you tell me this country isn’t broken?

Broken Britain - 10: EDF - a Rant.

2009-11-01T12:58:00.000-08:00

This story starts about four months ago when my energy supplier, the French company EDF (or as some call it: Every Day a F***-up) told me I was due for a new electricity meter. So I made arrangement to stay indoors for half a day and they duly installed it.

Then a few weeks ago I received a rather panicky, heavy-handed irate letter (some might regard it as a threatening letter) tell me: “four months ago we installed a new meter. Our records show there has been no use on this meter since” and in not so many words telling me (in effect) ‘if you are using electricity from EDF and Not paying for it you are defrauding us and in breach of rule so-and-so…..’.

I phoned them up and said: “ well I’ve been using the electricity since installation and that meter’s been ticking over and charging me as normal”. Anyway, they insisted I was wrong and that the meter should be changed - again - so we made arrangements for Thursday afternoon, which meant I had to stay in again from 12 noon to 6pm. At least I gave them my mobile phone number for reference.

So Thursday came around…I‘ve cleared all the junk our from under the stairs so the guy from EDF can have clear access. And at 12.56pm I went briefly upstairs to the bathroom and came back down to find a message on my cellphone.

It was a man’s voice, sounding barely Neanderthal: “Diss is EDF Energy here. I’ve just tried to gain access to your place and there’s a gate and a yale lock and I ain’t gotta key. So you’ll have to rebook diss appointment”. (I couldn’t return the call as the chap left no number).

I was baffled, especially since there is clear access to my flat, just up twenty steps (yes, those steps just by the big white-painted sign on the wall in ten-inches high letters, my door number - mong!)

Then Pam, my neighbour from two doors along knocked on my door and handed me a card she’d just had pushed through her mailbox - from EDF. [She’s the one with the gate and the yale lock, even though that is a side entrance and not actually the slip road where you gain access to my place…]

So I phoned EDF to explain their engineer’s gaff. Did they care? Of course not. As far as they were concerned nothing could be done, I’d have to re-book another appointment - and that’s what they insisted I do (thereby wasting another day of my time). [For the record, this person’s job title was Customer Services Assistant - a misnomer on all three words if ever there was one].

I refused and told them to fix it today, or I was an ex-customer.

For twenty minutes this arguing went on. “Look,” I said, “I’m sitting here in front of my computer, already on the uSwitch.com site. I’ve changed suppliers before, it’s not difficult, and I shall be switching at 6.pm. this evening if no new meter is installed by then….even if it means one of your highly-paid managers getting up off their arse and into their own car and come and install it themselves.”

I then reminded them: “If it wasn’t for your company’s incompetent installing of the original new meter, we wouldn’t be needing to go through all this. So don’t try and blame me for this one……You messed it up - You fix it”.

Thirty minutes later a manager phoned me back to tell me to stay indoors.

So a couple of hours later (3.30.pm) I heard two LOUD bangs on my front door knocker….strong enough to break the door down.

…And there he was…… white, long-haired, scruffy, mid-40s. He opened his mouth and it was that same mongoloid voice from the phone message.

I decided the best thing was to just zip my lip up, say nothing, and just let him get on with changing the meter.

I did explain to him how this saga started. He replied: “well, the person who installed this original new meter probably just lost the paperwork”.

So that’s alright then - Thank You EDF Energy.

And then he left….but I was left wondering: does it Have to come to all this kicking and screaming in order to get something done anymore? This is not just a one-off anymore in this country - it’s just typical.

- And you tell me that this country isn’t broken?

Sartorial Questions - 1 (suspenders + evening dress etiquette)

2009-10-21T08:33:00.000-07:00

Maybe it’s as a result of the Eccentric Club award (This Blog: 6th April 2009) or possibly from the interview/profile I did for the FineandDandyShop.com site (ditto: 7th August 2009 ), but recently I’ve started to receive questions about fashion and style. I reprint two of them here (with their permission):-

1.
Q: I was watching a western movie today, probably set in the 1870s, 1880s, they are just trying to plan for the railroad lines.

The men were wearing suspenders [uk = braces], but they had the metal slides on their suspenders like we have today to adjust the fit. Would they have had those in that time period? [Pape G, USA]

A: I contacted my friend Chris at the Historical Emporium who suggested:
“Adjusting buckles were common, even back to the civil war period.
Here's a picture with a variety of suspenders styles from the civil war period.

“As to the specific metal buckle styles, I can't answer your question whether the specific style that we carry was common or uncommon.” [www.gentlemansemporium.com ].

May I also suggest, Pape, this would make an ideal discussion topic for the website http://www.livinghistoryworldwide.com - there is a wealth of Western re-enactors here who might have a definitive answer for you. Try my profile [http://www.livinghistoryworldwide.com/profile/RayFrensham ], go into my Friends list and search out a chap called Staggers - he seems to know his stuff.

2.
Q:“I’m writing this letter to explain you what is just happened to me, to be advised and to be elucidated by a Dandy as you.

“A couple of days ago I received an invitation for a Gala Dinner, for Dandies only, in which there was specified that wearing a tuxedo would be requested. I immediately wrote back about the coarseness of wearing that kind of suit compared to a Frac [ie. tailcoat] and the answer was: ‘We all love masquerades, but this is a modern event and smoking is binding‘.

“I can’t explain the sense of astonishment I felt and doubts arose in me after reading something that seemed so bourgeois And written by a presumed Dandy.

“What do you think about it? Am i guilty of inappropriateness?” [Gianfilippo, Italy]

A:Well, Gianfilippo, I do feel rather honoured advising on style to an ever-stylish Italian, but I accept the compliment.

Their response does seem rather odd. I would have thought, if the event was “for Dandies only” the mode of dress expected would demand flamboyance and extravagance. Personally, I would wear white tie and tails or possibly a frock coat.

Perhaps you might consider a compromise: perhaps a black tuxedo suit (normally worn with a black bow tie) but with an extravagant Regency-type bow tie or a cravat / ascot with stickpin.

I’ve also found in my archive a few other variations you might consider [click on the pics for the full version]:

(I am not sure how the smoking reference comes into it - unless you mean Smoking Jacket? - but I would recommend a good cigar or pipe).

Finally…I have a couple more questions ready to run with (including a fascinating one about Spats), but if anyone out there has a question they wish to ask me about clothes and style please just send it to me (e-mail: ray.frensham@btinternet.com ). I can’t promise a definitive answer, but I will Always have an opinion, and might be able to point you in the right direction.

Broken Britain - 9: Transport for London Bully.

2009-10-16T09:30:00.000-07:00

I feared the Broken Britain strand in this blog might become redundant. How wrong could I be?

You think everything is fine in London?....watch this. you may not be able to hear him but the TfL employeee tells the elderly passenger he "should be slung under a train".

This is typical of the culture of Transport for London - throwing their weight around, bullying their “customers“… This is what we Londoners have to put up with these days.

The TfL chap – Ian – referred to the grey-haired passenger as a "jumped up little git" and a "little girl", in a torrent of abuse filmed by another commuter.

Here’s the extract from the blog by Jonathan MacDonald, the man who filmed it all:-

“Today [Friday 16th October], just after 2.30pm, I saw an elderly man with his arm trapped in the closing door of a faulty train at Holborn Station.

“We all thought the train was heading further east but actually, for reasons we shall never know, the train was terminating at Holborn and we were ushered out onto the platform by two (shouting) staff in Underground uniforms.

“The elderly man was slow to get off in the mad rush, hence the entrapment.
A few people around called to staff to open the door again so he could be released.
About 30 seconds later the doors opened again and he removed his arm.

“I watched as he calmly relayed his experience to the staff member (who was called Ian by the way). Ian didn’t think it was a problem – in fact, he was furious that the guy had mentioned it at all, especially as the guy was standing close to the track.
After a while, Ian started shouting at the guy to “stand back there is a fucking train approaching“.

“The elderly guy quietly questioned why Ian had to swear (as did several other passengers). Ian literally screamed in this guys face (and I quote): “because there is a fucking train approaching and I need to make sure nobody is over the fucking yellow line“.

“The elderly guy stood his ground – admittedly the wrong side of the yellow line (which was hard to see as there were hundreds of stranded people on the platform).
Ian then told the guy that he wasn’t allowed to get on the next train and had to “come upstairs to speak to the police“.

“That was when I pulled out my video camera. The below clip is taken immediately after Ian’s initial outburst and you can hear him repeat the police part too.
All seems fine until the incoming train arrives and the elderly guy tries to get on it – although watch how twitchy Ian is during the train arrival..

“You will hear Ian telling him not to get on and then threatening a halted service until he gets off again. Listen to what Ian says. Watch the reaction of the other passengers.
But then – right at the end of the clip (at exactly 50 seconds), you will hear Ian exclaim (again, I quote): “sling him under a train“.”

Initially, MacDonald was filming a little before this clip started but decided to stop filming. Then the woman employee came over to him and ordered him (!) to “stop filming”. MacDonald said “you know he could lose his job because of this?” and she just shrugged her shoulders and said “Huh!”.

At which point the brave Mr. MacDonald started filming again, and this is what we see.

Believe me, this is NOT an isolated case.

I hope my friends abroad take note of this, because sadly This is the kind of welcome you can expect from London these days.

Postscript: Within hours of this film appearing on YouTube the employee was suspended, pending investigation.

Bratislava Hot Serenaders: Time On My Hands + Rhapsody In Blue

2009-10-06T09:53:00.000-07:00

Time to cheer myself up - and it’s been a while since I featured my favourites.

So here they are, filmed at the Whitley Bay Jazz Festival in 1998, with a lovely little vocal by Milos Stancik, of the Ray Noble / Al Bowlly song “Time On My Hands”.

[You will have to Copy / Paste these two links to You Tube (as the direct links have been disabled]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QHLIwujll_U

And for those who want longer, more “serious” fare, try this: George Gershwin‘s Rhapsody In Blue (well, ten splendid minutes of it anyway).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W5yzCyPR16k

I hope your spirits are a little uplifted.

How to take on BT - and WIN!

2009-10-04T07:52:00.000-07:00

Back after a holiday break… I was in a coffee shop recently, advising a friend who was having serious problems with BT (British Telecom), his online suppliers. I explained the whole process I went through over a year ago - and I won [see end of this blog]… and a lady sitting at a nearby table started asking questions…she was also taking notes! I realised this was advice others might benefit from too, so here we go.

Unfortunately, you Have to go through these Steps, one by one, you cannot leap to the final step (and get it resolved).

ESSENTIAL RULE:
Keep a DIARY (of dates, letters, telephone calls, conversations, promises and broken promises, threats, etc). This applies to any complaint you may have against a company. ALWAYS keep a contemporaneous Diary.

Step 1: Write a letter to Ofcom [Riverside House, 2a Southwark Bridge Road, London
SE1 9HA. Telephone: 020 7981 3040 or 0300 123 3333 - I would advise you call them, they are very helpful). http://www.ofcom.org.uk/complain

In your letter, outline your complaint fully. They will then issue you with a Complaints Number (This is Important). [Note: On All future correspondence, quote this Complaints Number]. They will also send you a letter outlining what you do next. Which is:

Step 2: You write to BT (to their general address in Durham is OK, they won’t bother to reply). In your letter you outline your complaint, also write down what you feel is a reasonable compensation and give them a deadline to respond (eg. 10-14 days). Like I said, BT won’t respond anyway.

Step 3: Then you contact OTELO (the Telecommunications Ombudsman). PO Box 730, Warrington, WA4 6WU. Phone: 0330 440 1614 or 01925 430 049
http://www.otelo.org.uk/pages/4howtocomplain.php

[Note: These telephone numbers may be cheaper to use if you use a mobile phone or phone provider other than BT, and will be “free” if you pay a monthly charge for calls to numbers starting 01 or 02]]. You can also call them on: 0845 050 1614

Again, in your letter you tell them you wish to pursue BT through the ADR process (Alternative Disputes Resolution). [These words strike fear in the heart of BT!].

Otelo will give you the direct line and address info for BT’s complaints Department and tell you to send the outline letter also stating what you regard as reasonable compensation, and (finally) BT should get back to you - and things will actually start happening.

[Trouble is, you can’t jump straight to this point, you have to jump through all these above hoops first].

Step 4: FINALLY, you get to the BT Complaints Number, which is...
Switchboard: 013244 52933

One of their officers is Tony Crawley. His direct line number is 013244 57956 (although he might have moved on, or been made redundant - BT tend to make redundant their best staff].

Don’t expect to get through immediately - they are very overworked!

And send your complaints letter off to them, with what you regard as adequate compensation. They Will get back to you.

…and do get back to me if you have any success with this method.

In my own case, I spent almost eighteen months being buggered-about by BT. Once I started the OfCom process it was resolved in about eight weeks. Indeed, once I’d finally reached the right person at BT Complaints, he phoned me up with the words: “It’s taken me about four days going through your case to find out what it’s all about, and I have to say: we really have F***ed this one up, haven’t we?”.

Eventually I got:
- a wiping the slate clean of any claimed outstanding monies
- free line reconnection
- free line rental for one year and
- free BT Broadband for one year.

Niko Lindgren photo-shot: The Results!

2009-08-17T12:53:00.000-07:00

I’ve been sitting on these photos for a few months (wanted to stagger things) - these are the results of the photo shoot I did with photography student Niko Lindgren in the studio at the University College for the Creative Arts in Rochester, Kent in April.

As usual, to see them in their full glory, just left-click on the photo and it will open-out to its full size.

(Above is an experimental shot with a piece if modern technology - the cellphone)

For the full background go to 12th April, 2009 of this blog (Eccentric of the Year: Latest Developments - First Photo session). [That's when they were taken].
http://rayfrenshamworld.blogspot.com/2009/04/eccentric-of-year-latest-developments.html

I have to say when I saw the individual negatives, they were huge: 4” x 3”.

For you camera buffs out there, the main pictures (above) were taken with a Wista Field Camera with a normal (150mm) lens.

The stereo cards (below) were taken with a Yashica Twin-lens Reflex. The camera was fixed to a horizontal rod and a pic taken then moved about 5-6 cms. sideways along the rod and another photo taken, thus creating a Stereo-view...

...the idea is to print these photos out, stick them onto some cardboard together and then view them through a handy Vintage / Antique stereo-viewer. Simple as that.

Niko is back at the University in September to complete his final year. He's a bit of a Dandy himself and here’s a couple of his facebook photos.

That's it for now. Enjoy. Gotta go, just starting. xo xo

Interview / Profile of me on Fine And Dandy Shop. com (blog)

2009-08-07T17:51:00.000-07:00

www.FineandDandyShop.com in New York have just put up a profile / interview with me on their blog. Just go to:
http://fineanddandyshop.blogspot.com/2009/08/new-school-dandy-profile-ray-frensham.html

I hope you enjoy.

Thank you Matt Fox, Enrique and Charles Henry at Fine And Dandy Shop and all who shop with her.

…and now I am become an Art Installation…

2009-08-01T17:35:00.000-07:00

A few days ago I was phoned up by a Video Artist (please don’t stop reading, this Is actually rather interesting) in the middle of his latest project called "The People”.

His name is Ian Flitman. So I checked out his website ( www.blipstation.com ) and the work he’s best known for, Hackney Girl - it’s been exhibited round the world - and started to watch it.

To say that he is a video artist who “creates self-editing, randomly-generated narratives that are different each time you watch it” sounds a bit poncey and pretentious, but you really have to watch Hackney Girl a few times to see how he goes about it - and, because there is an over-arching 3-Act construct, it all does make sense.

Indeed, twenty years ago, when I was Chair of the London Screenwriter’s Workshop, I tried to get our writers to address these ideas of non-linear narratives where, for example, the audience could choose and decide the course of the stories they were watching. And it’s only in recent years, with the advent of digital technology, that linear film-makers like Mike Figgis (with his piece Timecode) have begun to explore the possibilities of non--linear / multi-linear narrative.

So what Ian is doing is actually quite clever and taking the concept of randomness yet still working within a 3-Act construct.

So what happened? To summarise: yesterday we filmed near the Royal Exchange (on top of Bank station in the City). A tight head-and-shoulders close up of me listening to an MP3 playing a reading of the W.B.Yeats poem The Wild Swans At Coole, 1919. Then, when it was over, I’d take the headphones out, look straight at the lens for a minute or so, then make a ‘Cut’ sign to camera.

It will be curious to see the end result when it starts to get shown in 2010 (I am Number 50 out of the fifty people Ian has filmed). I’ll no doubt keep you in touch of the exploits of this piece.

[I could let you into a little secret. I could say that the tear slowly forming in my left eye during the piece was my emotional response to the power of the poetry. It was actually the result of a slight breeze constantly blowing into my eye throughout the shoot. But if I said that, it would be giving the game away, wouldn’t it?]. And I got paid for it.

Ray is currently Annoyed with... (another fun Rant!)

2009-07-28T06:02:00.000-07:00

I was recently interviewed by a New York website ( www.FineAndDandyShop.com / www.FineAndDandyShop.blogspot.com ), who are doing a Profile piece about little ol’ me - I’ll let you know when they post it up.

And there in the list of questions was: “Currently Annoyed with?”

Well I just sat down and let it flow. Whether they publish all of it, I don’t know, but here are a few morsels for thought:

“ Where do we start? [Take your pick] -

A - Starbucks: Have you noticed that in every Starbucks, in every city and every town of every state and every country in the world, however large the Starbucks shop is, they Still have only ONE bathroom? [OK, there is one store - in NYC - that has two bathrooms…one of them is usually bust].

B - Facebook. For continually telling me to “download this” and “download that”. For changing the layouts and formats of their pages when nothing was wrong with them in the first place (change for the sake of change signifies desperation); and for not allowing me to go Invisible when I want to - I keep getting approached or hit on to start engaging in a chat when all I wanna do is clear out my emails. (For all its faults, I still prefer myspace). Still, the moment facebook is no longer ‘Kewl’ everyone will migrate elsewhere…. From the completely pointless twitter to some other networking site.

Moreover, Facebook has recently agreed to let third party advertisers use your posted pictures without your permission. Click on SETTINGS up at the top where you see the log out link. Select PRIVACY. Then select NEWS FEEDS AND WALL. Next select the tab that reads FACE BOOK ADS (top left). There is a drop down box, select NO ONE. Then SAVE your changes.

C - J Crew for restricting their online purchases to the US, Canada or Japan only. Everywhere else in the world? - we don’t wanna know. Wake up, J Crew, it’s supposed to be a WORLD-wide web…and a Global economy. A matter of principle here.

D - Tucker Carlson for caving-in to MSNBC network pressure and ditching the bow tie! (yes, I’m still annoyed at that, after all this time).

E - Increasingly sophisticated cellphones. I don’t want them with internet access, bells and whistles and thermometers. I just want a simple, basic mobile phone that sends and receives calls and texts and wakes me up in the morning. That’s all. Nothing more. Surely, I am not alone in this?

F - Ageism - everywhere and in everything, especially the creative media. How many times have you heard the phrase “we’re always on the look-out for new talent”? - when what they actually mean is “we’re on the look-out for Young talent“. It permeates the media and creative arts and is the un-admitted shame of our industry.

There is a such a wealth of untapped / un-encouraged creativity out there in all fields; we shouldn’t write people off after, say, forty just because they maybe never had the breaks. Perhaps the Chinese have got it right: the older the person, the more respected they are within their community.

G - Everything to do with the UK, especially the inept, paralysed, useless government (see my “Broken Britain” series of postings on my blog). At least in the States now there is a sense of a “coming-togetherness” to fight this recession and pull yourselves out of it (and, believe me, I do respond to that American ‘can-do‘ spirit). We in the UK have a dithering leader, like a rabbit caught in the headlights, who does not have the guts to do the honourable thing and have an election now. We have an angry and bitter electorate who are ready to rise up and vote for the far-Right (and the longer it goes on the stronger those passions become). Sadly, we also realise that Nothing will happen in the UK until our next scheduled General Election (June 2010), and the hope that with a new government there might be a new perspective in things. Currently, we are a country in limbo with a government holding onto power by its fingernails and determined to stay on at all cost. Besides, I have been planning to relocate for some years. It’s time to draw a line and move on.

Am I coming across as a grumpy old grouch? (I guess when I hit 50 I thought: “this is fantastic: I can officially become a miserable old git AND get away with it!”)

- Well that was it, off the top of my head.

No doubt You can think of a few more…

Bratislava Hot Serenaders + Henry de Winter: Livin' In The Sunshine, Lovin' In The Moonlight

2009-07-24T11:16:00.000-07:00

Another in my occasional postings from my Favourite musical discovery of 2009: the Bratislava Hot Serenaders and Henry de Winter.

I cannot say anything at present but my dear friends at the Eccentric Club have made contact with the excellent Herr de Winter in Berlin (he is now a member of this esteemed club) - and moves are afoot to bring him to the UK.

If anyone can help regarding the UK regulations for bringing dogs into the UK, please get in touch (you must have guessed by now that Bobby, his dog, travels Everywhere with the splendid Henry).

That is all I can say at present. ENJOY!

Teach Yourself Screenwriting - THE MOVIE! ...

2009-07-22T09:09:00.000-07:00

...well, not quite.

One of my facebook chums sent me these links to five short films on a site called VideoJug.com ; they are five mini-epics based on my book Teach Yourself Screenwriting. I have no idea when they were made or when they were put up (even my Commissioning Editor at my publishers Hodder & Stoughton - who MUST have cut some sort of deal at some point - isn't aware of these miniature masterpieces.

The URLs are:-

http://www.videojug.com/film/how-to-format-your-film-script

http://www.videojug.com/film/how-to-format-scenes-in-a-film-script

http://www.videojug.com/film/how-to-describe-action-in-a-film-script

http://www.videojug.com/film/how-to-format-dialogue-in-a-film-script

http://www.videojug.com/film/how-to-get-feedback-on-your-script

Do please visit, add your comments, and enjoy.

P.S.: My facebook link is www.facebook.com/tyscreenwriting

P.P.S.: In a few weeks time I may be able to tell you of some exciting developments planned for Teach Yourself Screenwriting in 2010 but at the moment I am sworn to secrecy.......

My Tailor on Portuguese Television

2009-07-15T04:09:00.000-07:00

Last Friday (10th July), my tailor - Ayres - was on Portuguese television: a programme called “Magazine Europe - Contacto“.

Click on the following link and see it in all its glory:

http://tv1.rtp.pt/multimedia/index.php?tvprog=16194

Ayres (that’s how you spell it, not Aires as in the TV caption - and it’s pronounced Eye-Rez) is in the first part of the programme: from 2 minutes in to 8 minutes. He’s also interviewed at his workplace (Gieves & Hawkes in Savile Row). It’s all in Portuguese, naturally, but at least you get the idea.

And he came back from Portugal with a few suit commissions (including two from members of the Portuguese Parliament).

Indeed, if you go back to my blog on the Naked Bike Ride in London [June 14th], you’ll find his back (and backside) in jeans and white short

And here he is with his Grandfather - Ayres is the third generation of tailors in his family.

Congratulations, Ayres….. [we have some spectacular creations to unveil in the future]..... I always like to think I can spot the rising stars!

...and now I'm featured in a Cartoon Strip too...!

2009-07-01T14:26:00.000-07:00

My dear acquaintance and talented (award-winning, I should add) artist / comix creator / blogger etc. etc. Lawrence Gullo suddenly sent me the latest installment of his elegant strip:
[Click on the strip and it will open out to its full glory].

At the bottom he wrote: "Jack the Ripper's good looks are based on Ray Frensham...".

Look! See: he made me look younger! How splendid. (And he got my favourite walking cane just right).

I don't care what Jack's next exploits are, I'm just thrilled at being immortalised in such a fashion. Thank you, Lawrence.

The URL for this strip (and his website) is:
http://tzarohell.livejournal.com/tag/chronodysphoria

I hope the link works.

A Victorian Stroll around Belgravia

2009-06-20T14:38:00.000-07:00

Perhaps as a counterbalance to last week's Naked Bike Ride, this weekend (somewhat more soberly, but no less fun) saw a Living History Weekend in London.

I and a number of chums were asked by Grosvenor Estates to do a bit of Victorian Strolling around Belgravia.

There were oodles of pictures taken, including those taken of us by the tourists, but let's start with a couple of pics uploaded from my mobile phone: of Me...

and of my regular strolling companion for the day, Oliver Carson...

Yes, girls, he really is that handsome, 26, and married (sorry).

So here's the story:

It seems that weekend of 20th/21st of June was Living History Weekend in London (organised mostly, I believe, by the Museum of London). Anyway, Grosvenor Estates - who seemingly own most of Belgravia - got in touch with an Events Company with a view to sprinkling a few Victorian characters around the place occasionally bumping into some of the various Walking Tours of the area that were going on that day.

So there I was amidst a number of young actors (who had previously raided the National Theatre's Costume Store!) ready to stroll the day. Here's a group shot:

[L-R: Ray Frensham, Oliver Carson, Joel (?), Polly Maberly, Edward Hayes-Neary, Luke Owen and Daniel Pinto]. Well, that's most of us, anyway.

So we were split up into groups - myself and Oliver; Joel, Polly and Edward; Luke and Daniel - some were given character back-stories and we were given general areas to stroll. The idea being during our pleasant strolls we would occasionally cross paths with the other players and also with tourists and the walking tours that peppered the area at weekends.

I have to say for the time we were out and about strolling (approx. 11am - 4pm...with a few breaks for refreshments) Oliver and I had splendid time: exploring the area as if we owned the place (amidst the beautiful architecture and the Mewses, you don't know how easily I slipped into the role), chatting, greeting every passer-by on the street we encountered [they must've thought "those crazy Brits"].

The logic of splitting us up and spreading us out seemed so appropriate for the event (and much more "right" than the practise of many re-enactment events where everyone meets up at Point A and strolls through the town en-masse to Point B).

At the end of the day, my feet rather sore, we all agreed we had had a thoroughly splendid time (and the money, of course, came in handy!). And considering that, on that day, so many of the Re-enactment traditionalists were either at the Broadstairs Dickens Festival or at the final day of Ascot or abroad at a huge Battle if Waterloo reenactment event, I think our little troupe gelled wonderfully.

Indeed, so pleased were the Events company with the say, Sean the organiser is considering putting together a little team to hire us out on a regular basis. Watch this space. (To that end I've just started a Facebook Group, London Victorian Strollers - private for the moment).

All Photos taken by Sean Canning (except Nos. 2 & 3 downloaded from my mobile phone.

Naked Bike Ride in London - PICTURES!!!

2009-06-14T07:01:00.000-07:00

So there I was yesterday (Saturday 12th) casually strolling through the back streets of Savile Row, London - with my tailor, as it happens - and suddenly we were confronted by this.....

...yes, that's right: loads and loads of...bicycles. Look at them! Big ones, small ones, some brand new, quite a few in not-so-great condition, some with bells on, some with big horns on....lots of 'em....Bicycles.

OK, so it was a Naked Bike Ride (I think it's the first in the capital?).

Naturally, I had to whip out my trusty...er...mobile phone to capture the moment.

There were about three thousand of them and they just did not stop. They held up the traffic for over twenty minutes while they all streamed through.

Occasionally they would stop (the corner here proved a bit of a bottleneck) and suddenly one woman shouted at me "Look! People with clothes on!"

I replied: "Yes, well, you see one, you've seen 'em all".

I came away thinking: 'Only in London or New York...or maybe Sydney could this happen'.

At least it was a beautiful sunny day for it.

I did see a few curious piercings, however...

Click on the photos, they will open out to their full glory - believe me, I did it and never realised the pictures would come out THIS big!

This is how I looked in 1981 (my first TV appearance!)

2009-06-08T19:56:00.000-07:00

OK, so this is how I looked in mid-1981 (I'm the chap selling records in the clubs and from my Mail-Order office - yes, always wearing the bow tie!). [The programme transmitted in August, so it was filmed about June/July 1981].

[The bulk of the interview is in Part 4; I'm also about one minute into Part 6, with more of the interview running under the visuals].

The programme, a 30-minute teen documentary strand called Twentieth Century Box, is from October 1981, only shown in London. It also marks Danny Baker's very first job in television.

(Thanks to Ian and all for transcibing my VHS tape for YouTube).

Kensal Green Cemetery: a Photo-shoot - 2 (Barry Smith)

2009-05-25T18:36:00.000-07:00

Referring back to my blog of 25th April (2009), here are the rest of the photos taken at the Kensal Green Cemetery and Catacombs on 23rd April this year.

This selection was taken by Barry Smith, the Chairman of the Friends of Kensal Green Cemetery. I hope you enjoy.

And a final reminder to jog you memory: the Cemetery has its next Open Day on saturday 4th July (from 11am - 5pm), and I know it sounds gruesome but actually it really is a fascinating experience.

You can also pre-book a Tour of the Cemetery itself for £2 and a tour of the Catacombs for £3 (both bargains at those prices).

Bratislava Hot Serenaders: Tatransky Express

2009-05-10T08:34:00.000-07:00

Time to cheer myself up again with another track from the splendid Bratislava Hot Serenaders. (I think I shall end up posting a new song each month, until I run out of tracks!).

I now have Four of them on my Facebook friends list: Jana Dekankova (harmony singer - she's the one in the middle) and two of their trumpeters, Juraj Bartos and Rastislav Suchan:

Left-Right: Juraj Bartos, Ľubomír Kamenský, Rastislav Suchan.

...and clarinettist/saxophonist, Pavol Hod’a:

I’ve been talking to some friends (who saw them in Bratislava recently) about how we can get them to the UK. I know they would go down a storm at Glastonbury (that’s in a June), and on Later with Jools Holland (not sure when their series start/ end); and on something like Strictly Come Dancing (their series runs from September to the end of the year). Anybody any more ideas?

Portrait by Spencer Murphy

2009-04-27T09:02:00.000-07:00

They say a picture paints a thousand words, so I shall just post up the Portrait done by Spencer Murphy on the evening of Eccentric Awards at the Arts Club in London (April 1st). Thank you. [Click on the picture and get the full version in all its glory].

Now, I very rarely take a great picture, especially posed portraiture, but to say I am pleased with the results is an understatement. (I'm happy to say Spencer appears pleased with it too - anyone for a signed, limited edition, print???).

Just visit his splendid website. www.spencermurphy.co.uk

Kensal Green Cemetery: a Photo-shoot - 1 (Adam Brown)

2009-04-25T18:23:00.000-07:00

Thursday 23rd April was Saint George’s Day - patron Saint of England - and I was somewhat cheered to discover that nearly all the local florists and supermarkets had completely sold out of red roses (the symbol of St. George). Perhaps in times of recession there is a resurgence in displaying signs of national pride, especially in these times when we Brits have been pretty-much brainwashed to feel ashamed of celebrating our national day.

Anyway, I was looking for a red rose for a buttonhole. That evening I had been invited over to Kensal Green Cemetery (in North-West London), to turn up in my Victorian clothes for the preview of a photographic exhibition called Response - displaying the works of three students: Adam Brown, Hassan Cadinouche and Susan Martin; their responses to the cemetery itself.

So, just opposite Kensal Green tube station stood the Cemetery, a vast place going on for miles with huge, imposing iron gates for an entrance. And inside: acres and acres of wonderfully carved stone monuments and family vaults - a Goth would never want to leave!

And so to the Anglican Chapel: each of the three photographers had taken pics of different aspects of the cemetery and each were using a particular type of metallic printing process which completely escapes me but looked very effective.

After I’d had a jolly good walk round the exhibition, I got chatting to the Cemetery Chairman, Barry Smith, and then he just casually mentioned “would you like to visit the catacombs?”.

Within seconds we were descending into the vaults of the cemetery: tunnels and tunnels of arches and alcoves and more tunnels running endlessly into the semi-darkness. And. Looking around: floor-to-ceiling of compartments and grills and stone-sealed shelves - just like an Italian Cemetery - with coffins, over 2,500 of them (but with space for over 4,000). Hundreds of years of decaying wood and lead, of metal filagree grills and stone inscriptions mixed with various floral tributes (made of metal and plaster) preserved under glass domes.

Maybe it was the semi-darkness or the dampness down there or just witnessing the way the Victorians took Death seriously, but there was a wondrous feel of gothic decay all around. [Horror movie location scouts take note!… Saw VI ?].

Immediately I told Barry to fetch his camera (which he’d left upstairs) and we started taking a series of shots - these will take a while to get to me, but I shall post them up in a later blog. It was just as well the strip-lighting was working (although Barry and I later revisited the catacombs, this time in total darkness, just carrying a couple of paraffin lamps).

Later still, Adam Brown and I went underground again for some more portraitures, a few of which I’ve published here.

You’ve heard the term ‘darkly atmospheric’? That about sums up the Catacombs. Talk about Hidden London! Kensal Green Cemetery was a revelation. And to think I’ve lived in the capital nearly all my life and never even knew this subterranean place existed.

The Response exhibition carries on until Thursday 7th May.
The Cemetery is planning an Open Day on Saturday 4th July.

Here are a few useful links:
www.kensalgreen.co.uk [the Cemetery]
www.kensalgreen.co.uk/documents/KG_Open_Day.html [The 4th July Open Day]
www.response-exhibition.co.uk
www.alpha-beta-photography.co.uk [Adam Brown]

All photos in this blog (5-8)taken by Adam Brown, Except: 1,2 & 4 (Cop. Con) and 3 (archways) by Hassan Cadinouche.

Broken Britain - 8: Maitland & Co., R.I.P.

2009-04-18T06:48:00.000-07:00

I know this recession is hurting a lot of small businesses, but sometimes a closure will happen that you take personally.

And so it was yesterday, I was in London (getting a couple of silk waistcoats made up - but that’s another story for another day). Walking along Piccadilly I reached the top of Piccadilly Arcade and I just felt a strange hollow where something familiar should be. I turned and witnessed the stark, empty space where once stood the chemists Maitland & Co. (established 1849), next to the clothiers Budd & Co.

Where was that window crammed with a cascade of odd and fragrant toiletries? Where was the wall of gigantic sponges (bigger than two fists) pressed up against the window? And that familiar huge unfolding Swiss-Army knife…?

All that remained was an empty space. And in the sad vacant window were just rows of empty glass shelving; an old shaving advert from the 1940s, a lonely shaving razor and a solitary large bottle of brilliantine priced at £5.50 (I stood there ogling that bottle like a child looking into a sweetshop).

That, and a simple hand-written note taped to the front door “…Maitland & Co….forced to cease trading…thank you to all our past customers…forward all enquiries to accountants Blah, Blah Blah…”.

Perhaps it was the suddenness of the closure. Perhaps it was that unexpected gap in the street fabric that I had passed so many times since my schoolboy days in the 1960s. It was just…’there’ - it always was. Perhaps we just took it for granted that it always would be there…. And where will I get my sponges now?

So be it. Maitland & Co. (Est. 1849), R.I.P. 2009

It’s not just a bit of history lost, a small part of my life has just crumbled away with it. Like I said, there are some closures you just take personally.

Broken Britain - 7: ...it's for your Own Good...

2009-04-13T08:11:00.000-07:00

Want to be an investigative journalist?
Want to have an opinion?
Want to have Any kind of original thought left in your body?
Forget It!!! - From 1st April 2009, every telephone call you make, every email you send and every website you visit is being logged under new regulations.

And every government department, every local Council and even every quango can access this telephone and internet database. (What could they use it for?…to access everything from treason to fly-tipping, they tell us…and, perhaps, who‘s been tipping off a journalist on a local paper about the misdeeds of a local Councillor???).

FACT: Any database will eventually spill out to those who pay enough money or who have the right contacts. (And if you thought electronic communications are secure - you must be crazy).

I remember the day Tony Blair was elected P.M. in May 1997, I predicted to the optimistic youthful voters who put him in power: “Be warned - you are about to witness the nearest thing to a Stalinist regime this country have ever seen. It Will happen”. And, I think, the years have proved me right.

Insider whistle-blowers beware.

Here’s a Tip: if you want to be an investigative journalist, I suggest:
- pen and paper (i.e. snail-mail letters)
- a pay-as-you-go mobile phone with an unregistered SIM card bought with Cash (yep, just like drug-dealers and terrorists)
- and a motorcycle.

As if all this were not bad enough, the REAL threat will come once the police put all sorts of information - vehicle license plates’ movements [ANPR: Automatic Number-plate recognition], CCTV camera data, emails, phone calls, etc. - into a real-time system that anyone can access.

It WILL happen.

Mind you, once you DO have a juicy bit of information, new technology means it’s easier and quicker to get it out there to the rest of the world before they catch up with you!

So I guess, if investigative journalism IS under threat, maybe this is a new role for the Blogosphere.

Oh, and the Motorcycle? Bikes usually only have One number plate - on the Back.

But APNR cameras focus on a vehicle’s front plates!
- Handy to know.

A PostScript: I’ve just seen a TV ad where I can get any information on any car registration number. Just send the number in a text to 83600 and for a fee of £3 + standard network charge, the DVLA will send you details of your car (where it is, and - if it has been stolen - if it's been pulped). Big Brother or a useful government service? - you decide. I think it’s creepy

Eccentric of the Year: Latest Developments - First Photo Session

2009-04-12T08:33:00.001-07:00

Some interesting developments since the Eccentric of the Year Awards on the 1st - suddenly I find myself being ‘In Demand’: in the coming months I’ve been approached for two stills photo-shoots, a couple of film-makers who want to interview me + a personal appearance at an art Exhibition opening later nest week. I shall no doubt blog about them as they arise.

It’s all rather odd - again, since I’ve never considered myself to be an eccentric; I just live my life the way I live it and don’t care about others’ opinions. It does make me wonder if ‘Eccentricity’ has suddenly become flavour-of-the-month. I don’t mind, as long as they don’t approach things like (or try to turn me into) some kind of Victorian freak show.

The first photo-shoot was last Thursday (12th) at Rochester, near Chatham in Kent. A Norwegian student at the University College for the Creative Arts [I remember when it used to be called the West Surrey College of Art and Design at Farnham], Niko Lindgren, is putting together his portfolio: Black & White portraits of Historical Re-enactors and using one of the old plate-photos cameras.

It all went very smoothly. Niko met me at Chatham station (there’s an element of the dandy about him, so we recognised each other instantly) and we walked up the hill to the nearby College. Inside the large studio we started going through what items he wanted me to wear - I brought along a choice of various items: frock coats, waistcoats, stiff collar styles, cravats and pins, monocles/pince-nez, that sort of thing.

Various items selected, he just set about snapping away (me against a white background) for about an hour, with a change of outfit mid-way. After each shot he pulled out another completed plate (later I saw the size of the negatives, each one was about 4” x 3”, very high-resolution I suspect).

There was a general feeling of mutual respect between Niko and myself. He said that if Norway had its own group of Victorian Re-enactors he would join them, but sadly they don’t. I told him “well maybe you should start one”.

I must admit, I had initially approached the session with just a little apprehension as Niko had asked me to also “bring along something modern” to be photographed with “as an experiment”. I decided on a mobile phone, reasoning that the Victorians - being at the then cutting-edge of industrial development, might have so easily invented the cellphone, or even the internet, given time.

In fact, out of the whole 20-or-so shots in the session, only three of them featured the phone. Indeed, the whole experience was remarkably relaxed and over all too soon. Afterwards, we wandered through the cobbled streets of Rochester looking for a coffee and at the antiques shops. Niko has his eye on a vintage manual typewriter in the window of a local charity shop.

What caught my eye, dominating the window of one antiques shop was a glorious vintage Sousaphone in beautiful condition, beaming gold in its magnificence. It had no price on it, but at least it did Not have a ‘Not for Sale’ tag attached. I Must contact Jana of the BHS (Bratislava Hot Serenaders) and see if one of her band might be interested in it.

The first results of the photo-shoot may not be ready for a few weeks yet (half-term); also, in order to transfer these huge analogue negatives into some kind of digitised format for computer transfer, Niko will have to use a high-resolution machine which, thankfully, the University has.

I still want a set of prints on photographic paper for myself, though! So let's see how things develop (Ha! - photographer's joke, there).

Have to go now, Gossip Girl is just starting - xoxo

So: Who IS Henry de Winter? - the quest continues

2009-04-11T15:32:00.000-07:00

Ever since Jana Dekankova, the singer with the Bratislava Hot Serenaders contacted me from Slovakia, I’ve switched into “research” mode and decided to try to find out more about their occasional singer, Henry de Winter - or, to give him his Full title: Henry de Winter aus Berlin.

According to Wikipedia he was born in 1959 (24th September), lives in the Steglitz district of Berlin and has his own solo career too, releasing three albums to date:

And then by sheer accident, I happened to be trawling one of the blogs of some friends of mine who mentioned they happened to share a train journey with Henry and Bobby (his new dog) in January this year. Here is their entry:

“For the first half of the ride to Stuttgart, we were in a 6 person compartment that we had all to ourselves....then we were "graced" with the presence of Henry De Winter and his dog Bobby the rest of the way. He was truly one of the nicest guys ever! But even better he was seriously the most unique person that we have met on all of our travels. He is a 20's and 30's singer from Berlin and as he told us in his own words "he lives in the era". AKA he dresses the part everyday! Three piece tweed suit with knickers, wool overcoat, plaid flat hat and best of all a real carnation sticking out of his lapel. And when he took off his jacket, he removed the carnation and attached it to his shirt so that we was wearing it the entire time. He told us some fun stories, while Bobby slept on the floor of our compartment the entire time. It was SUCH a trip but so funny. The picture that we got is a little dark as we were trying to be incognito!!”

And here are the pictures they took.

Finally, another picture I found of him and Bobby that dates from August 2007.

He is Definitely the sort of chap we should get in contact with (but his website - www.henrydewinter.com - seems to be permanently ‘Under Construction’ and I’m still waiting for a reply).

In fact, SO many people have contacted me asking where and when we can see the BHS perform, it’s best I put a link to their website (the English translation):
http://www.serenaders.sk/?lang=en

We HAVE to do something to see this group and Henry: either we get them together in the UK for a tour or we hire a charabanc and visit Slovakia, picking up Henry in Berlin first! Let’s think about it…

Bratislava Hot Serenaders: Cotton Club Stomp (Live)

2009-04-10T08:48:00.000-07:00

A holiday treat: another performance from the BHS, this one featuring a spiffing trumpet solo from Juraj Bartos.

I was so thrilled the other day to discover in my facebook inbox a communique from one of the members of the BHS (Jana Dekankova, one of the singers). Her English is awfully good and puts us Brits to shame.

She said that the first song I posted up (Herr Ober, zwei Mocca - with Henry De Winter aus Berlin) dates from about 1998, and that Henry’s dog in the clip has now sadly passed on, but that he has a new dog (Bobby) as you can see in the picture below...

Apparently the BHS visit the UK shores about once every two years for the Whitby Jazz Festival and they hope to be invited back in 2010.

She said it was OK to post up their films so I shall be adding them from time to time. And, I should add that trumpeter - and, I gather, main arranger - Juraj Bartos is also now on my facebook friends list.

Enjoy!

STOP PRESS: WANTED! The BHS are looking for a souzaphone - one with a deep-rounded vintage tone to it and, of course, in great condition [I've already passed on the details of the one in the Rochester antiques shop, above]. Everyone, keep your eyes peeled and start looking...

The Great British Eccentric of the Year 2009 Awards

2009-04-06T18:31:00.000-07:00

Wednesday, April 1st - and so to The Great British Eccentric of the Year 2009 Awards ceremony. (Yes, I know it’s All Fools’ Day but this was a serious event).

For the full coverage of the event, visit:
http://eccentricclub.blogspot.com/2009/04/eccentric-outcome-of-awards-ceremony.html

Anyway, for any of you who have been following this splendid nonsense, there were four of us in the final running. At the close of voting, things stood at:
- Rob Lowe - 499 votes (36%) - he’s just written a book about Eccentrics [he’s on the left]
- Ray Frensham (myself) - 396 votes (28%)
- Colin Shaddick - 314 votes (22%) - a humorous Poet from Devon [he’s the tall one in the red bow tie] www.inclusifolk.com is his website.
- Captain Beany - 167 votes (12%) - he sits in baths of beans for Charity… you really should have heard of him by now! He’s the, well, bean-coloured one. [http://captainbeany.com]

…but remember: this is the Eccentric Club! [www.eccentricclub.co.uk] and we were told on the final day of voting that we each had to do a 15-minute presentation to the Club and the Committee’s decision would be final.

The event was to be held at the Arts Club in Dover Street (just off Piccadilly), starting at 7.30.pm. And, bearing in mind the expected Anarchist-type casual rioting that was being reported in London on that day, I decided to go into town early (at about 4pm) and to “dress-down“ a little - well, for ME it was dressing-down. You’ll have to judge for yourself by the pictures whether I was successful or not.

The only other concession I made to these splendid protestors was to bring along my chosen silk top hat in its carrying box, rather than wear it and risk having it stolen from my own head. (I know, I have three silk toppers but I am deeply emotionally attached to each of them). For the record, the one I chose to wear for this occasion was the one know as the Boche 7.

Interestingly enough, none of us travellers into London (even the band, who came from Manchester) encountered any problems whatsoever. Indeed, the tube route I took (cleverly missing any ‘hot-spots’) were full of Underground Policemen. I felt very safe indeed.

So, at 4.30pm I’d booked into Truefitt & Hill [www.truefittandhill.com] in St. James’s for my regular moustache trim and shaping (with the aid of wax the ends are starting to curl up rather well now) - I’d already had my nails buffed and manicured to perfection earlier that morning locally by Trace, my Essex concubine.

After T&H I stopped off for a cappuccino (double shot - how eccentric!) at the Café Nero while I waited for fellow contender Colin Shaddick and his wife to turn up from Devon.

We both agreed on how we both regarded this whole bizarre contest as a bit of Fun and so it really didn’t matter who won (and neither of us had this kind of: ‘I HAVE to win this at all costs’-focussed determination that, say, another contestant might have). Colin and I got on famously well, perhaps because we were both so laid-back about it. We plan to meet up again next time he makes a royal visit to the smoke.

We were a little worried about the presentations though. We were both stuck. I suggested he do some of his presentation in verse (which he later did) and I thought I would just “busk it” (or “wing it” as some say).

And so we turned up, down into the bowels of 40 Dover Street to meet the various organisers of the Eccentric Club (Jean-Francois Dor, Imants von Wenden and Emmanuel Ray, amongst others - they are all on Facebook.com).

Suddenly I noticed we were being filmed (for Belfast TV, if I recall the Release form that I signed later while half-drunk), so we all squeezed in a quick interview with them.

And then on to have our photos taken by a snapper…..Well!…[I felt like Tony Hancock in his radio episode “The Publicity Photograph” when he walks into Kenneth Williams’ portraiture studio and tells him to “snap away”, and Williams replies “Snaps? … SNAPS???…. I Paint with Light!”.

I’m glad I took the chap’s business card. I checked out his website next morning: [www.spencermurphy.co.uk] - Bugger me, he’s good. He later said to me that he is putting together a travelling photo exhibition and would I mind if he included a shot or two of me in it (and maybe interview me later, possibly on camera, etc etc.)?

Would I mind? I tell you, having seen Spencer’s work and who he’s…er…’snapped’ I’d claw peoples’ eyes out to be part of his portfolio! (At least I managed to get a test Polaroid off him of one of the shots he took that night - I shall have to find a way to scan it in).

Music for the evening was supplied by the excellent Dr. Butler,

[http://www.myspace.com/drbutlershatstandmedicineband ] - the guitarist did not mind me drooling over his Martin Dreadnought guitar. Little did he realise I would have mugged him for it. It brought tears to my eyes (I once owned a vintage Martin 00028 and miss her terribly).

Rob Lowe - not the actor, you will note - did his presentation first and started creating his own tea party whilst publicising his recently-published book on eccentrics.

Then it was my turn.

I always said to the organisers that I have never really considered myself to be an eccentric - an Individualist, yes - but I would accept the initial nomination as I consider the mere act of ominating me to be an actof supreme eccentricity in the first place!

I just blathered on about my early days in TV working with the genius of Malcolm Gerrie on “The Tube” in the 1980s (it turned out one of attendant film crew had worked with Malcolm too and agreed with me, what a splendid man he is).

I also slipped in a neat plug for my own book [Teach Yourself Screenwriting…a best-seller since 1995, the 3rd Expanded/Updated edition just in the shops….Publishers: Hodder & Stoughton / US: McGraw-Hill… some foreign translation Rights still available!]

I briefly skimmed over my lifestyle philosophy, Constructive Apathy (see a recent blog here) and just groped my way through the proceedings and Q&A, tossing here a joke, there a wisecrack…

I did give a Special Thanks to my harem of Swedish Schoolboy lovers in Linkoping (the Fifth largest city in Sweden, they tell me) who voted for me solidly and have followed the proceedings from their Facebook eyrie. They adore me and I love them all.

I was really starting to get up a head of steam considering it was all completely improvised. And then I got the ‘wind-it-up’ motions from the back of the room (it’s a technical TV hand-sign, darlings).

Then Colin took ownership the stage and did some of his humorous verses (you should’ve brought your Uke, Col). I recommend his website: www.inclusifolk.com

Finally, on stage came (the semi-legendary) whirlwind known as Captain Beany. As soon as he started “I don’t come from this planet. I was beaned down from the planet Beanus…” and the puns just didn’t stop. The guy was brilliantly entertaining and a marketing phenomenon. Colin and I agreed: the guy wiped the floor with us all; and if he did Not win it, there was no justice.

The Committee went away to deliberate, long and hard. Eventually they announced:
1st - Captain Beany
2nd - Rob Lowe
3rd - Colin Shaddick

And I was awarded the “Special Award” (seems it was neck-and-neck for as while between myself and the good Captain).

But Colin, his wife and I came away from the evening having had a great fun time and met the very pleasant organisers and all agreed we should visit the Arts Club premises and the Eccentric Club again sometime.

(And it’s all very well our friends on Facebook saying to me or Colin “you was robbed”, you really had to be there to be swept up in the Beany frenzy. And besides, if the guy manages to raise thousands for charities by sitting in baths of baked beans, who am I to criticise him?).

[All Photos taken by David Straker, except Nos. 3,4 & 8 by Linda Shaddick]

Broken Britain - 6: DANIEL HANNAN, MEP - Speak for England, Daniel!

2009-03-26T18:15:00.000-07:00

This man's speech has become an internet phenomenon. They were spoken in the European Parliament recently when British Prime Minister Gordon Brown came to visit.

He says the words that nearly everyone in this country feels at the moment but cannot articulate, and he uses plain and simple direct words.

- And look at Brown (an UNelected Prime Minister, let's not forget), with his rictus smile that Press people have told him works well on tv...in this case he sits there, doodling and smirking, doodling and smirking.

Brown is incapable of Listening. Not just listening to criticism, but LISTENING. And that is the fatal flaw that runs through him like the words in a stick of Blackpool rock.

Hannan deserves to be on the Conservatives Front Bench. Visit his own blog: www.hannan.co.uk

Speak for England, Daniel...

The Bratislava Hot Serenaders (with Henry de Winter): Herr Ober, zwei Mocca

2009-03-26T14:40:00.000-07:00

Some light relief amidst today's gloom.

I totally LOVE this recording. From Bratislava (obviously!), they've been going since about 1982.

We need to see them live in Britain!

.....thank you YouTube for brightening my day.

I STILL NEED YOUR VOTES…. (British Eccentric Awards) - a New URL means you can VOTE AGAIN!!!

2009-03-22T13:12:00.000-07:00

I’ve been nominated as Great British Eccentric of the Year 2009 (I think it’s odd, but I accept the nomination….I shall probably lose out to some group or fan club or clique).

So, I really would appreciate it if you could get everyone you know to vote for me.

I’ve never considered myself an eccentric (the mere approaching me to accept a nomination is an act of extreme eccentricity in itself!) but I just wonder who conjured up my name in the first place!

But if you could get them to vote for me, Ray Frensham, that would be great!. Thank you.

The URL has now changed and those of you who already votes can STILL Vote AGAIN (even though the website may tell you otherwise!):-

http://www.eccentricclub.co.uk/vote-for-the-finalists.php

Voting ends: Tuesday, 31st March.

I love you all!
Ray

Ever had one of those Days.....?

2009-03-19T07:23:00.000-07:00

Aren't there just some days when this is the only response?

Remember the mantra: "I'm mad as Hell and I'm not gonna take it anymore" ... (although, I must admit, this is a tad somewhat of an overreaction).

Now this really IS Eccentric!…..

2009-03-16T07:03:00.000-07:00

I need your help

Please vote for me.....

I’ve been nominated as Great British Eccentric of the Year 2009 (I think it’s odd, but I accept the nomination….I shall probably lose out to some group or fan club or clique).

So, I really would appreciate it if you could get everyone you know to vote for me.

I’ve never considered myself an eccentric (the mere approaching me to accept a nomination is an act of extreme eccentricity in itself!) but I just wonder who conjured up my name in the first place!

But if you could get them to vote (in the top right-hand corner) for Ray Frensham, that would be great!. Thank you.

The URL is:

http://eccentricclub.blogspot.com/2009/03/greatest-british-eccentric-of-year-2009.html

Voting ends: Tuesday, 31st March.

And, as they used to say at the end of The Morecambe and Wise Show: I love you all!

Broken Britain - 5 :Citizens' Action - Peter Mandelson Gunged + a typical British scene today...

2009-03-06T15:14:00.000-08:00

6th March 2009 - Leila Deen from the action group Plane Stupid (protesting about inexorable airport expansion in the UK) throws a cup of 'green custard' over Lord Peter Mandelson. It'll be in youtube.com You have to chuckle...

...and something we see all too often on British streets these days... (at least when you see the end, you realise there is a God!)...

Constructive Apathy - a Lifestyle Philosophy

2009-03-04T16:43:00.000-08:00

I have always felt that my true role in life was to be at the head of my own religious cult. Some set-up whereby lots of adoring people would pay me lots and lots of money just to turn up and…BE. I don't have to do anything, I don't have to say anything, just turn up and, well, ... BE.

Problem is, the only slight cloud on the horizon is the somewhat worrying tendency for such cults to end in a kind of casual mass suicide.

Another slight problem was…well…Me. If you don’t mind someone with a face like a full set of haemorrhoids and the personality of a used tea-bag, I’m your man. It’s like when a pal of mine googled me recently. “I didn’t realise, Ray,” he said, “you’re quite famous”.

I like that. ‘Quite’ famous. It’s a bit like being ‘almost interesting’.

What I needed was a concept that was good on the longevity stuff, wouldn’t involve me getting too energetic and was universally attractive and applicable to others.

So a good few years ago, I was sitting in the office of what was (then) laughing called a Production Company, sitting at my computer, and it staring blankly - but lovingly - back at me, contemplating the glorious Summer that was supposed to be happening out there beyond the window.

Someone passed me. “Bored, Ray?”, he said with that sort of Matt Damon smile that makes you want to put your fist in his face.

“This isn’t boredom,” I wittily riposted. “This is Constructive Apathy”.

And that’s when the light bulb when on in my brain. My ideal lifestyle philosophy, fully formed and complete and the instant panacea for the twenty-first century’s supposed surfeit of leisure time.

Suddenly my mind shot into second-gear. Visions of them turning up at massed rallies of the faithful, all of them desperate for me to raise an eyebrow or crack my lips into the merest hint of a smile, perhaps utter the odd word or two. I was in thrall to my own self. I almost started referring to me in the third person.

Pressed for a definition (and I would have to be pressed in extremis), I would say it was: The Science of watching Life pass you by. It is most surely a Science, for it can be replicated; and it is a state ideal for the writer with ample opportunity to write about life rather than actually live it.

I recalled something Jeffrey Archer (that worrying doyen of hyperactivity) once said about writing: “Every morning you face that blank sheet, and there are a thousand and more reasons for not writing, but only one for actually doing it; and every morning you have to find that one reason all over again”.

But why?, I thought. Cannot one spend such time reflecting positively on all of the reasons for Not doing something?

Believe me, dear follower, what I am launching here in this blog is the merest tip of my vast intellectual iceberg. It is no bogus, ill-constructed philosophy knocked together by some pathetic over-compensating loser.

Oh no. It is completely thought-through, a faith beyond post-post-Modernism whose time, I feel, has come.

It is not the comatose staring into space traditionally associated with serial television watching; it is more positive inaction, rather akin to that practised by our posthumously-anointed guru Sir Alec Guinness.

We have out own ready-made anthem in John Cage’s “Four minutes, thirty-three seconds”, that battle-hymn to tranquillity and of life carrying on relentlessly outside. We have our own salute: not so much the gloved fist, more a casual shrug of the shoulders.

And although this may sound contradictory, we even have our own goals and ambitions. In my case, it is: Early Retirement. I would commend it…most particularly to Lord Archer, who might perhaps consider taking early retirement from life itself.

You see, Constructive Apathy gives you a chance to take control of yourself, to listen to what Life is saying to you - even if all it does say is: Does it Matter?

It offers one the opportunity to address the really pressing issues of our time like: how many beans make the perfect beanbag? what happens to the darkness when the light comes on?, and why did they build Windsor Castle so close to the airport?

Thus, I am saying to you all: get out of the rat-race, seize control of your destiny: join me and consider the cult of the half-closed eye. Remember, no problem is so big or so complicated that it can’t be run away from.

And at a time when City types are being released onto the unemployment market in lemming-like quantities, I can foresee the need for a lifestyle option that offers them a positive alternative. For I, who have been there, seen it, done it, bought the t-shirt, decided ‘No’ and walked away from it, offer it now to a waiting world.

So here shall I sit, winking knowingly back at my monitor screen, raise a glass in wait of 3rd September [National Procrastination Day in the USA], take another delicate sip if my Industrial Chardonnay and contemplate Constructive Apathy and my constant self-belief that the world owes me a living.

You know, over the years since I’ve been working on C.A., many of my friends have encouraged me to consider working this all up into a book. And I might just do that.

On second thoughts, I don’t think I’ll bother.

Broken Britain - 4: Citizens’ Action

2009-03-03T07:56:00.000-08:00

Apparently there are Confidential documents circulating around Whitehall: contingency plans for dealing with what this government and the police expect to be a ‘Summer of Discontent’. It seems the middle-classes have awoken from their comatose state fed by endless TV repeats of Poirot or Midsomer Murders and are Ready to Rage.

Bravo! Bring it on.

For well over five years I’ve been predicting the uprising of what I call “Citizens’ Action” - the bringing-together of small single-interest groups united by that mantra from the movie Network: “We’re mad as Hell, and we’re not going to take it anymore”. Politicians, of course, would call it civil unrest.

I detected the first rumblings about ten years ago, when those distinguished and genteel ladies of the W.I. slow-handclapped Tony Blair whilst giving an overtly political speech at their conference, which specifically requested a non-political one.

Clap, clap, clap. The look on his face: baffled, bewildered, keep that smile up Tone - “hey, why you doing this? It’s only me, an ordinary kinda guy, you know?".

Clap, clap, clap. And this was the Women’s Institute - jam and Jerusalem, right down to their knitted cardies, wouldn’t say ‘boo’ to a goose. But they gave our Tone a good hand-job.

After that emerged Fathers-4-Justice, the pent-up rage of certain fathers denied access to their own children. The jaunts of Spiderman clinging onto Tower Bridge or Batman on a ledge at Buck House or the purple-powdered condom thrown at Blair in the House of Commons may have seemed futile or silly, but It Got them the Publicity. This was (at last) taking Action into the hands of people.

The one conclusion I was forced to draw from all this was: does it have to come to a point where one has to publicly shame and embarrass people into accountability? Answer: sadly, YES!

Running in parallel to Fathers4Justice (time-wise) for a while was the rise and the rallies of the Countryside Alliance, ostensibly protesting about the foxhunting ban; but this was really the focus for a whole groundswell of discontent from those who did not live in the urban conurbations and felt neglected and ignored by Tony Blair’s shiny bright New Labour dream.

Still, at least it did lead to some jolly rioting on the streets of London and lots of photo-opportunities embarrassing the caring-sharing Government of the day. All those truncheons cracking against tweed-clad bones, the bleeding head wounds…not good.

Next, a couple of years ago, we had the blockading of the fuel depots by the farmers and lorry-drivers when it looked like an ‘unacceptable’ petrol rise was imminent. Panic at the pumps?, yes. Gridlock?, sure. But Gordon Brown, then-Chancellor, capitulated and didn’t raise the fuel duty that Autumn.

And just a few weeks ago we had more blockades, this time in Scotland. Workers chanting the words first coined by Brown himself “British jobs for British workers”. This is the mantra that will carry us through the Summer. These are the lies we live with in the UK.

Let’s face it: we mean nothing to the politicians. We are the shit caught between the cracks in their soles. They despise us and view us with contempt. They tell us “you have a powerful weapon in your vote” and “be thankful, we live in a democracy”.

Pure bollocks, of course. Do they see our sneers?

Wouldn’t it be interesting if some form of genuine Proportional Representation came into effect and suddenly everyone either refused to vote or ticked a box on the ballot paper ‘None of the Above’?; or voted en-masse for Anarchism, or for the BNP?

Now That would be a true democracy, however-much one disagreed with the result.

But in this genteel, crumbling country, where under Tony Blair "we are all middle-class now", we have Middle-Class Rage: “we’re mad as Hell and we’re not going to take it anymore”. Citizens’ Action….about bloody time!

It will be interesting to see if (when?) the Power workers come out on strike sometime during this coming year. Why? Because whenever this has happened in the past, normally the Government bring out the troops to cover.

But where are the troops this time? They’re in bloody Afghanistan or Iraq or elsewhere. Stitch that, Broon!

Let the jam-makers unite. Bring on the chaos!

Broken Britain - 3: Spot the Odd Man Out

2009-02-26T15:15:00.000-08:00

Q: Who is the Odd Man Out from the following list?

- Lord Stevenson, former Chairman of Halifax Bank of Scotland

- Andy Hornby, former Chief Executive of HBoS

- Sir Fred Goodwin, former Chief Executive, Royal Bank of Scotland

- Sir Tom McKillop, former Chairman RBS

- John McFall, M.P., Chairman of the House of Commons Treasury Select Committee

- Alistair Darling, Chancellor of the Exchequer

- Sir Terry Wogan, presenter of BBC Radio 2 breakfast show.

A: Terry Wogan. He is the only one with a Banking qualification.

State of the Nation 2 - Broken Britain

2009-02-18T15:45:00.000-08:00

You know, when I started this blog last year, I never intended it to be some relentless moan about (my) life - I leave that to Charlie Brooker. But four things happened to me this morning, all within the space of one hour; each one of them so accurately depicted just what is wrong with this now-useless and hopeless, broken country.

1 - The post arrived (actually quite early today, at 11am; usually it’s more between noon and 2pm. And these days it gets delivered every Other day).

In the post was my order of new printer cartridges from www.firstcallink.co.uk (remember that name). Or was it? I opened the package to discover I’d been sent someone else’s order.

I telephoned the company and finally got through to a disinterested-sounding gentleman, I’d say, middle-aged. He was already aware of my problem (the other customer having phoned him up).

The man offered no apology. All he said was “Well, it doesn’t happen very often”.

Seeing as this other chap had my order, he said, "why don’t you mail it to him and he can mail your order to you?".

“Fine,” I said, “but what about the mailing costs of £1.15?”. “Oh well", he replied, “I suppose I could credit you with that amount against your next order”.

“What makes you think there’s going to be another order”, I said, doing a double-take. Eventually, after much massaging and persuasion I managed (I think) to get him to send me a free black cartridge. (I’ll believe it when I see it; as of 10th March, nothing has turned up).

So I repackaged the whole thing up again and went to the Post Office, where it actually cost me £1.24 to mail it [it seems that franked mail is cheaper than stamped mail].

2 - Returning from the Post Office I dropped into Tesco, where I was caught in a queue. We were lining up because some twenty-something girl at the counter was trying to remember her pin number.

She was using a credit card to pay for a chocolate bar…costing 42p!

Judging by the look on the face of the woman behind the counter, this was not an uncommon occurrence.

3 - Outside Tesco I wanted to catch a bus (a number 150, if you‘re listening Transport for London). One was approaching.

I happened to be using my walking stick today (my leg was playing up somewhat) so I hailed the bus with my stick. Naturally, I could not run and it was obvious that my walking was a trifle impaired. People were getting on the bus as I approached.

Just as I got to the front doors of the bus, at precisely that moment, the driver - eyes staring straight ahead (ignoring me) - decided to shut the doors and drive off.

All I could do was merrily wave to it as it drove away from me, hoping he might see me in his wing mirror.

4 - Ten minutes later, another 150 turned up. I got on the bus and saw that the Oyster Card machine was broken [the Oyster card is the universal transport card we Londoners use].

The driver calmly waved me onto the bus with a resigned look on his face. At least I got a free bus journey out of it (worth £1.10).

Throughout that journey I pondered on these four incidents and felt: every one of them is just so bloody typical of what is wrong with this country. Things are broken but nobody’s interested in lifting a finger to even get it fixed any more.

We have a broken country - where nobody actually Cares any longer.

Valentines Mansion Reopens

2009-02-15T15:54:00.000-08:00

Valentine’s Mansion is situated barely a couple of hundred yards away from Gants Hill tube station (on the far eastern loop of the Central Line, the red line), just down Cranbrook Road South.

Eventually, yesterday (appropriately, Valentine’s Day) the place opened to the public. As you can see by the queues (above), which were constant throughout the entire day, the place proved to be a bigger attraction than anyone could have wished for.

Luckily the weather was a crisp, sunny day, so I decided to take a little stroll around the place (and, I must admit, perhaps show-up the Educator/Re-enactor/Guides somewhat) and was mightily impressed.

I suppose I should come to expect it now, but I kept getting stopped (inevitably) and being asked if people could take my photograph - some of them I have included here. There was one moment when a lady said "Oh, I do like your costume"....
....."Costume? COSTUME?", I replied. "Madam, this is my everday wear!". I hope I didn't offend her too much.

The house was originally built about 1696, the walled garden was created in 1720 and housed various private residents until 1906. It was bought by the Council in 1912.

For the past 15 years it lay empty and for many years had remained derelict until eventually, about five years ago the local community got together with Redbridge Council and started to restore it to its former glories. Things really kicked in a few years back when they managed to secure a Lottery Grant.

Check out the website for the mansion:
http://www.valentinesmansion.com/index.php

And join the Friends of Valentines Mansion:
http://www.valentines.org.uk/valentines_mansion

All the information you could wish for are in these sites. And don’t just visit the Mansion itself (on three floors, if you include the Artists Studios on the top floor - do visit them) try strolling around the three different gardens there too.

The bulk of the photos were taken by “Ham”. Check his page out:
http://londondailyphoto.blogspot.com

[16th February: I've just checked out his page and he's posted up a piece about Me! under the banner "Ordinary Londoners No.20". Ho-hum, what a merry life!]

British Irony

2009-02-14T03:16:00.001-08:00

A number of my American friends are still somewhat baffled by this concept of Irony and the British sense of humour (with a ‘u’). How about this:

Today is February 14th - Valentine’s Day. Whooopeee.!

In the UK it is also National Erectile Dysfunction Day. (True).

Now THAT is British irony at work!

State of the Nation - Your Feedback

2009-02-04T03:25:00.000-08:00

Well, I guess my sense of frustration and rage came through my words. Almost immediately I started getting feedback from you, mostly via my Facebook page, but I shall reprint them here:

H. Yates S.A (South Carolina, USA) - 4th February:
Read the blog. Excellent, excellent. One of the things I was shocked by when I lived in Edinburgh was how corroded Britain's national identity has become. Its a problem we face here. The uniting sentiment of a nation is one of the most underrated catalysts for change, yet these modern times have replaced

Richard H.D. (Sunderland, UK) - 4th February:
Fantastic, bravo. Nail. Head. You've hit it.

Atreyu (pseudonym) London - 4th February
Ray, I completely and wholeheartedly agree with you. I have been dying to write about this for a very long time, it has been bubbling in me like a festering sore. I think I have an interesting perspective – that of a person who was born and bred here, then relocated to the Middle East as a young teen, and returned to England as an adult.

This is *NOT* the London of my childhood. Britain has devolved and mutated into a Victorian farce. While you and I are slaving away at our jobs only to have 30% of our salaries taken by the gov’t to subsidise crumbling, useless monoliths like the NHS, we have hundreds of thousands of “asylum seekers” and foreign immigrants who get everything from housing to tax-reductions VIRTUALLY FREE. Not to mention the hoards of trash who dwell in gov’t subsidised council estates, and live on gov’t subsidised benefits, all on OUR expense. It is incredibly demoralising.

It is no bloody wonder that the likes of the BNP are becoming more and more popular, more power to them. I was once a proud socialist, then I returned to London at the age of 22 and discovered what it means to really live in a “socialist” country, or the defunct British version of it at any rate. I could go on for ages, Ray, but I’ll spare you and everyone else the diatribe. Fantastic blog.

Niall S-H (London) - 5th February
Ray, that is a very, very good blog! I don't really see what's controversial about it; Brown is a moron in denial and our infrastructure is teetering on the brink. The trouble is I don't have any solutions for these problems. I imagine few others do, either.

Mark Davids (Netherlands) - 5th February
Great article Ray

Sue (Pittsburgh, Pa. U.S.A) - 12th February
I just read your rant, and it is about the same in the USA.

It seems that the rich are getting richer, the middle class are getting poorer, and the poor are still poor.

At least in Britain with all the taxes you pay, the citizens get healthcare provided.

In the USA, (that arrogantly and ignorantly brags that "we have the best healthcare in the world" and have been brain washed by fear mongering stories that in England and Canada people die waiting for operations, and that socialized medicine would mean the same for USA) we must pay for it ourselves, (or hope our employer chips in a percentage of the cost, if we have a job), and pay for the unaffordable insurance with what is left of our pay after the taxes.

So where, I ask, has all the money gone? I can tell you in the USA after our government bailed out banks with our tax dollars, to help our economy- millions were given as bonuses to the top executives according the the evening news.Our idiotic government didn't give the banks any rules and therefore they were within their right and cannot be punished.